*** continued from previous post ***
Now, it was about this time that we started seeing the warnings for Bears tacked to sign-posts every . . . oh, I don't know . . . every ten feet or so. I didn't want your mother to worry, so I tried to distract her whenever one drew near. "Hey," I would say and point in the opposite direction, "is that a squirrel?" Or, "Quick! Look over there! What kind of bird is that?" Or, "Look! Carnival rides!" Much to my chagrin I don't believe it worked.
We passed the Nordic Centre, (Motto: "Nothing Sinister Going On Here. Certainly No Cloning. Please Move Along."), and happened on our first bit of good news in what was proving to be one of the longest days of our lives. A sign. Literally.
"Look!", Mom shouted in the first true enthusiasm I'd heard from her since leaving home, "The sign says, ‘Hidden Valley Lodge - 40 Kilometers', we're going the right way!"
I thought about adding, 'You had any doubts?', but decided that silence and a smile were more apropos.
As we passed the Nordic Centre's entrance, the wide, flat tarmac began to narrow. While the surface was fine, the width closed in on itself going from a very wide two-lane, to a narrow two-lane with no markings, to a wide one-lane road. Not a problem. Others had traveled this path. In addition to guests at the Lodge, I reasoned that there had to be delivery trucks, carriers, etc. that supplied the Lodge and whatever else was up there. I relaxed. I felt as though our 'day from Hell' was at last coming to a close.
Then, the road began to climb. Ha. Not a problem. Then the road REALLY began to climb. Still no problem. Then the road . . . well it just kind of ended into a ridiculously steep one-lane gravel path with washboards deeper than speed bumps.
This might be a problem.
Let me pause and give you a bit of advice that will serve you well in the years to come. When you hear yourself saying, "Oh, well I'll just go a bit further, I'm sure there will be someplace to turn around." --- just turn around. NOW. No good will ever come of this situation. The road never gets wider, or better, or flatter. The only thing you can expect to encounter taking this route is madness. Madness and death. I know this now, and I knew this then. So why, in the name of all that is holy, did I push on?
It's simple really. I'm an idiot.
*** the journey continues ***
Senin, 28 Februari 2011
Jumat, 25 Februari 2011
Motorcycle Pictures of the Week - Dru Carl
Here are my Pictures of the Week as displayed on the Motorcycle Views Website. This feature has been expanded to include Bikes Only and Trikes Only. These pictures are taken from the Moto Pic Gallery. See Dru Carl's 1985 Honda Gold Wing 1200 under Men on Motorcycles. There are no Trikes Only, Women on Motorcycles, or Bikes Only this week. We need more pictures of men and women with their motorcycles. Get your picture in. For details, see Motorcycle Pictures of the Week.
Polar Bear Grand Tour - Landslide Saloon on 2/20/2011
Check out pictures and videos of the 15th motorcycle run of the Polar Bear Grand Tour season to the Landslide Saloon at Pattenburg, NJ on February 20, 2011.
It's A Little Game Married People Play
*** continued from previous post ***
"Whoopsie!", I say, with a melodic lilt that manages to annoy even myself.
"Well great," Mom sighs.
It is now that my masculinity kicks into high gear. I need to take control. I will not stand idly by and let this cursed day get the best of me. I will solve this problem, like so many men before me have solved problems of their own creation.
I will lie.
"Look, standing here is doing us no good. Get on the back of the bike and we will push on. I know how to get to the Nordic Centre." (Lie #1)
"I'm sure Sweet Alice can get us that far, and probably a bit beyond." (Lie #2)
Really, it can't be that bad. (Lie #3)
“I told them in the note when I booked the place that we were coming in on motorcycle. (This is true.) If they thought we couldn't make it, they would have told me." (I believed this to be true.) It's going to be fine. (Lie #4)
Your mother - my wife, my companion, my friend, co-conspirator, cheer-leader and all around pal these last 30 years - knew right away I was spewing total bullshit.
"Fine," she said and without another word climbed on the back of the bike. Though silent, I could read her body language under the layers of clothing. She had not so much capitulated as she had decided, as if she were on a dare, to see how this would play out. And of course, then hold me accountable. It's a little game married people play.
I took a deep breath, fired the engine, and without further ado set off to find this Canadian / Scandinavian Cloning Facility masquerading as some sort of ski operation. I had turned the volume down on the GPS, but I could see our rough path laid out on the map to where Sweet Alice thought the PO Box might be. It was just a big arrow pointing towards the mountains on the other side of town. It did nothing to calm my nerves when the screen started flashing red and the word DANGER in all caps popped on and off the screen like a demonic jack-in-the-box. F' you Sweet Alice! I've had enough of your silliness for one day! I clicked into first and hit the gas. Right or wrong, I was at least moving and that felt good.
We wandered through the streets of Carnack for what seemed an eternity. Missing turns, pulling u-turns in parking lots, changing lanes abruptly - you know, all the stuff that makes taking a HUGE FLIPPIN' MOTORCYCLE THROUGH UNFAMILIAR TERRITORY DURING RUSH HOUR IN A MONSOON so exciting. But my perseverance paid off. At last, I spotted a sign for the Nordic Centre.
I patted your Mom's leg in what I hoped was a reassuring manner, and we took the turn into the mountains. It was probably gorgeous and breathtaking. I have no idea.
*** stay tuned - the journey continues ***
"Whoopsie!", I say, with a melodic lilt that manages to annoy even myself.
"Well great," Mom sighs.
It is now that my masculinity kicks into high gear. I need to take control. I will not stand idly by and let this cursed day get the best of me. I will solve this problem, like so many men before me have solved problems of their own creation.
I will lie.
"Look, standing here is doing us no good. Get on the back of the bike and we will push on. I know how to get to the Nordic Centre." (Lie #1)
"I'm sure Sweet Alice can get us that far, and probably a bit beyond." (Lie #2)
Really, it can't be that bad. (Lie #3)
“I told them in the note when I booked the place that we were coming in on motorcycle. (This is true.) If they thought we couldn't make it, they would have told me." (I believed this to be true.) It's going to be fine. (Lie #4)
Your mother - my wife, my companion, my friend, co-conspirator, cheer-leader and all around pal these last 30 years - knew right away I was spewing total bullshit.
"Fine," she said and without another word climbed on the back of the bike. Though silent, I could read her body language under the layers of clothing. She had not so much capitulated as she had decided, as if she were on a dare, to see how this would play out. And of course, then hold me accountable. It's a little game married people play.
I took a deep breath, fired the engine, and without further ado set off to find this Canadian / Scandinavian Cloning Facility masquerading as some sort of ski operation. I had turned the volume down on the GPS, but I could see our rough path laid out on the map to where Sweet Alice thought the PO Box might be. It was just a big arrow pointing towards the mountains on the other side of town. It did nothing to calm my nerves when the screen started flashing red and the word DANGER in all caps popped on and off the screen like a demonic jack-in-the-box. F' you Sweet Alice! I've had enough of your silliness for one day! I clicked into first and hit the gas. Right or wrong, I was at least moving and that felt good.
We wandered through the streets of Carnack for what seemed an eternity. Missing turns, pulling u-turns in parking lots, changing lanes abruptly - you know, all the stuff that makes taking a HUGE FLIPPIN' MOTORCYCLE THROUGH UNFAMILIAR TERRITORY DURING RUSH HOUR IN A MONSOON so exciting. But my perseverance paid off. At last, I spotted a sign for the Nordic Centre.
I patted your Mom's leg in what I hoped was a reassuring manner, and we took the turn into the mountains. It was probably gorgeous and breathtaking. I have no idea.
*** stay tuned - the journey continues ***
Suzuki Recalls 2008-2010 Motorcycles for Regulator/Rectifier Heat Problem
Suzuki is recalling certain model year 2008-2010 motorcycles.
These motorcycles were manufactured from July 2007 through September 2009, equipped with regulator/rectifier assemblies, Suzuki part numbers 32800-41F11, 32800-15H10, 32800-05H11, 32800-41G10, 32800-15H00, 32800-18H00, 32800-05G10, 32800-10G10, 32800-05H20, or 32800-06G01. Some regulator/rectifier assemblies were produced with insufficient adhesion between the power module (circuit board) and the rectifier case that contains a heat sink to dissipate heat. Due to insufficient adhesion, heat generated on the power module circuit board can cause the circuit board to deform, and lift off the case.
The number of units affected is 73426.
Check out my Motorcycle Recalls feature for more details.
These motorcycles were manufactured from July 2007 through September 2009, equipped with regulator/rectifier assemblies, Suzuki part numbers 32800-41F11, 32800-15H10, 32800-05H11, 32800-41G10, 32800-15H00, 32800-18H00, 32800-05G10, 32800-10G10, 32800-05H20, or 32800-06G01. Some regulator/rectifier assemblies were produced with insufficient adhesion between the power module (circuit board) and the rectifier case that contains a heat sink to dissipate heat. Due to insufficient adhesion, heat generated on the power module circuit board can cause the circuit board to deform, and lift off the case.
The number of units affected is 73426.
Check out my Motorcycle Recalls feature for more details.
Kamis, 24 Februari 2011
They Clone Vikings Don't They?
*** continued from previous post ***
Now I know what I wrote earlier about driving on gravel. I had driven the Vision on gravel in the past, and while it is tricky, it can be done if the gravel is packed hard and there aren't too many pot-holes or soft spots. You don't want to hit a soft patch with the front tire of a bike. It has a tendency to dig in and not want to move. Yet, our friend inertia, and the back of the bike, will have none of that. So best to avoid the situation entirely.
But if all was well you could put the baby at a constant speed of 15 to 40 miles an hour - depending on conditions, easy on the brakes and easy on the throttle, with a very light touch for steering and you should be fine. 'Should be' being the operative words. Yet it's edging towards dark, it's been raining for days, and your Mother, bless her soul, is delusional. Possibly – although I have no proof - possessed.
"What's a Nordic Centre," I ask.
"I have no idea, but it really doesn't matter."
"You think that's where they herd Scandinavians to keep an eye on them?"
"No. I think it probably has something to do with the 1988 Winter Olympics."
I stroke my chin in contemplation. Which is ridiculous, because I'm wearing a helmet so it looks as though I'm trying to get bugs off my face plate in a slow, drunken motion. Suddenly an image of countless tall, blonde people that we’ve encountered since crossing the border fills my mind.
"Could be, could be. But these Canadians are a wily bunch. They may be trying to clone Vikings. How would you like that? Herds of Vikings pouring south across the border, downloading music illegally. Sharing files. Littering."
Mom pounded her gloved fist on the side of her helmet. "They are not cloning Vikings!"
"But," I add, "at least they would be polite Vikings. I don't know about you, but if I'm going to be pillaged and raped, I want to be treated with a little respect."
It's then that I notice that your Mother had developed a nasty - and by no means attractive - eye tic. Perhaps I should leave this line of speculation for another time.
"Come on babe," I say, "let's have a look at that map she drew for you."
Mom held the sheet of paper out to me, and before I could grasp it and take a gander, the ratio of water to paper became too much. It disintegrated like a ball of toilet paper in the tree of a cranky old fart that one day pushed the neighborhood kids too far.
I heard God laugh. I kid you not.
Turns out, it wasn’t God. It was just your mother sobbing.
*** the journey continues ***
Now I know what I wrote earlier about driving on gravel. I had driven the Vision on gravel in the past, and while it is tricky, it can be done if the gravel is packed hard and there aren't too many pot-holes or soft spots. You don't want to hit a soft patch with the front tire of a bike. It has a tendency to dig in and not want to move. Yet, our friend inertia, and the back of the bike, will have none of that. So best to avoid the situation entirely.
But if all was well you could put the baby at a constant speed of 15 to 40 miles an hour - depending on conditions, easy on the brakes and easy on the throttle, with a very light touch for steering and you should be fine. 'Should be' being the operative words. Yet it's edging towards dark, it's been raining for days, and your Mother, bless her soul, is delusional. Possibly – although I have no proof - possessed.
"What's a Nordic Centre," I ask.
"I have no idea, but it really doesn't matter."
"You think that's where they herd Scandinavians to keep an eye on them?"
"No. I think it probably has something to do with the 1988 Winter Olympics."
I stroke my chin in contemplation. Which is ridiculous, because I'm wearing a helmet so it looks as though I'm trying to get bugs off my face plate in a slow, drunken motion. Suddenly an image of countless tall, blonde people that we’ve encountered since crossing the border fills my mind.
"Could be, could be. But these Canadians are a wily bunch. They may be trying to clone Vikings. How would you like that? Herds of Vikings pouring south across the border, downloading music illegally. Sharing files. Littering."
Mom pounded her gloved fist on the side of her helmet. "They are not cloning Vikings!"
"But," I add, "at least they would be polite Vikings. I don't know about you, but if I'm going to be pillaged and raped, I want to be treated with a little respect."
It's then that I notice that your Mother had developed a nasty - and by no means attractive - eye tic. Perhaps I should leave this line of speculation for another time.
"Come on babe," I say, "let's have a look at that map she drew for you."
Mom held the sheet of paper out to me, and before I could grasp it and take a gander, the ratio of water to paper became too much. It disintegrated like a ball of toilet paper in the tree of a cranky old fart that one day pushed the neighborhood kids too far.
I heard God laugh. I kid you not.
Turns out, it wasn’t God. It was just your mother sobbing.
*** the journey continues ***
Rabu, 23 Februari 2011
It's ALL YOUR FAULT!
*** continued from previous post ***
"What are we going to do?" she asks, but it's not really a question. What she REALLY said was, I can't believe you didn't check this out and now here we are exhausted, wet, cold, and with no place to stay and we've forfeited a bunch of money because you're an idiot and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
I panic. The ball is squarely in my court. I am, as our illustrious President Bush had said, the decider. I got us into this mess, and it's up to me to get us out. Silly woman trusting me. She should know better than that. I thought that I could use this line of logic to put the blame on her, and then realized there were other things in life I wanted to experience. A Canadian Hospital was not one of them. I was in the pit of despair, then - BOOM - another flash of inspiration!
"Okay, here's what we will do. We've come this far, let's give it a shot." And then, because I haven't made enough mistakes, I add, quite casually the most damning statement that I've ever uttered in my life. "Worse comes to worse, we will just turn around, find a motel, and try to get our money back tomorrow. I'm sure they'll understand if we cannot physically get to the Lodge."
I can see Mom weigh the options in her mind. On one hand, she could go along with this scheme. On the other hand, she could trick me into taking my helmet off and hit me in the head with her friend, the rock, and try to claim that I'd run away. I can see in her eyes that at this point it's a coin toss.
"Fine. You want to try it, we’ll try it. The lady inside gave me directions. She said about 5 miles out of town, beyond the Nordic Centre, is where the gravel starts. I asked her if the road was good, and she said "Well, good for a car. It's hard-packed. I don't know how it would be on a motorcycle and honestly I haven't been up there in years." Her eyes pierce me like an ice-pick in peanut butter. "That was a direct quote."
I become distracted by the ‘Nordic Center’, but shake the thought out of my head. I have more important matters to contemplate.
*** the journey continues ***
"What are we going to do?" she asks, but it's not really a question. What she REALLY said was, I can't believe you didn't check this out and now here we are exhausted, wet, cold, and with no place to stay and we've forfeited a bunch of money because you're an idiot and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
I panic. The ball is squarely in my court. I am, as our illustrious President Bush had said, the decider. I got us into this mess, and it's up to me to get us out. Silly woman trusting me. She should know better than that. I thought that I could use this line of logic to put the blame on her, and then realized there were other things in life I wanted to experience. A Canadian Hospital was not one of them. I was in the pit of despair, then - BOOM - another flash of inspiration!
"Okay, here's what we will do. We've come this far, let's give it a shot." And then, because I haven't made enough mistakes, I add, quite casually the most damning statement that I've ever uttered in my life. "Worse comes to worse, we will just turn around, find a motel, and try to get our money back tomorrow. I'm sure they'll understand if we cannot physically get to the Lodge."
I can see Mom weigh the options in her mind. On one hand, she could go along with this scheme. On the other hand, she could trick me into taking my helmet off and hit me in the head with her friend, the rock, and try to claim that I'd run away. I can see in her eyes that at this point it's a coin toss.
"Fine. You want to try it, we’ll try it. The lady inside gave me directions. She said about 5 miles out of town, beyond the Nordic Centre, is where the gravel starts. I asked her if the road was good, and she said "Well, good for a car. It's hard-packed. I don't know how it would be on a motorcycle and honestly I haven't been up there in years." Her eyes pierce me like an ice-pick in peanut butter. "That was a direct quote."
I become distracted by the ‘Nordic Center’, but shake the thought out of my head. I have more important matters to contemplate.
*** the journey continues ***
Selasa, 22 Februari 2011
Good News Everyone! I Got Nuthin'!
*** continued from previous post ***
As I was preparing to take one for the team and go in to rescue her, she emerged from the building holding a piece of paper in her hand. Victory! Sweet, sweet accommodations here we come!
However, the hackles on my neck raise a bit because I can see that your Mother isn't exactly exuding joy. I can tell from her body language. It's those subtle motions that are visible only to someone you've spent your life with, the hidden language that the two of you have developed over the years. No one else would be able to pick up on these clues, and if they did, they would have no frame of reference from which to decipher their meaning. In this case, your Mom was banging her fists on the side of her helmet and jumping up and down. I studied her as she approached. Ah. . . I recognize this - it's her universal signal for "I have great news! I love you and I'm sorry if we've been short with each other for the past few hours but all is well now, all is well."
Mom steps to the side of the bike and says, "We're fucked."
Oh. Well dang.
"Okay, how fucked? Fucked as in 'I forgot my wallet', or as in 'Hey, look! The right wing just fell off?"
"Fucked - fucked."
"Well alrighty then. So, was this some internet scam? Is there a Hidden Valley Lodge? Wait . . . don't tell me, did it burn down yesterday?"
"Oh," Mom says, a tad sarcastically I thought, "there's a Hidden Valley Lodge alright."
"Okay," now my patience was running thin, "so what's the problem?"
”Did you," she asks as she pokes a finger into my arm, "think to actually look where this place was before you booked it?"
"Well if I had, then we wouldn't be asking for directions, would we?" I say through clenched teeth.
She stares at me long and hard, and for a moment I think she's reaching for her shank. Or her rock. Or any number of other things she could use as a weapon.
"When I asked directions they looked at me horrified. HORRIFIED! It was obvious I was on a motorcycle. This place isn't IN Carnack. It's OUTSIDE of Carnack. Actually OUTSIDE and ABOVE Carnack and still another 40 kilometers away!"
I do a bit of mathematical calculation on the fly. That means that we have another 157 gallons to go. Damn you Canada.
"Alright, so we still have a bit of traveling to do."
"Forty kilometers away," she says and pokes my arm again for emphasis, "up the side of a mountain. On a narrow, one-lane gravel road. While it's getting dark."
I feel my stomach knot. The Vision is a wonderful bike, but it is definitely a street bike. Not a dual sport. With all of the rain water she weighs as much as a binging hippo. Or, in the metric system, 6000 stone.
My mind frantically turns, I'm trying to salvage this day somehow. Eventually I give up. I got nuthin'.
*** the journey continues ***
As I was preparing to take one for the team and go in to rescue her, she emerged from the building holding a piece of paper in her hand. Victory! Sweet, sweet accommodations here we come!
However, the hackles on my neck raise a bit because I can see that your Mother isn't exactly exuding joy. I can tell from her body language. It's those subtle motions that are visible only to someone you've spent your life with, the hidden language that the two of you have developed over the years. No one else would be able to pick up on these clues, and if they did, they would have no frame of reference from which to decipher their meaning. In this case, your Mom was banging her fists on the side of her helmet and jumping up and down. I studied her as she approached. Ah. . . I recognize this - it's her universal signal for "I have great news! I love you and I'm sorry if we've been short with each other for the past few hours but all is well now, all is well."
Mom steps to the side of the bike and says, "We're fucked."
Oh. Well dang.
"Okay, how fucked? Fucked as in 'I forgot my wallet', or as in 'Hey, look! The right wing just fell off?"
"Fucked - fucked."
"Well alrighty then. So, was this some internet scam? Is there a Hidden Valley Lodge? Wait . . . don't tell me, did it burn down yesterday?"
"Oh," Mom says, a tad sarcastically I thought, "there's a Hidden Valley Lodge alright."
"Okay," now my patience was running thin, "so what's the problem?"
”Did you," she asks as she pokes a finger into my arm, "think to actually look where this place was before you booked it?"
"Well if I had, then we wouldn't be asking for directions, would we?" I say through clenched teeth.
She stares at me long and hard, and for a moment I think she's reaching for her shank. Or her rock. Or any number of other things she could use as a weapon.
"When I asked directions they looked at me horrified. HORRIFIED! It was obvious I was on a motorcycle. This place isn't IN Carnack. It's OUTSIDE of Carnack. Actually OUTSIDE and ABOVE Carnack and still another 40 kilometers away!"
I do a bit of mathematical calculation on the fly. That means that we have another 157 gallons to go. Damn you Canada.
"Alright, so we still have a bit of traveling to do."
"Forty kilometers away," she says and pokes my arm again for emphasis, "up the side of a mountain. On a narrow, one-lane gravel road. While it's getting dark."
I feel my stomach knot. The Vision is a wonderful bike, but it is definitely a street bike. Not a dual sport. With all of the rain water she weighs as much as a binging hippo. Or, in the metric system, 6000 stone.
My mind frantically turns, I'm trying to salvage this day somehow. Eventually I give up. I got nuthin'.
*** the journey continues ***
Senin, 21 Februari 2011
In The Mountains of Madness
*** the journey continues ***
I can feel something building in your Mom. Something dark and disquieting. Something powerful and ominous and thoroughly unpleasant.
"Oh for God's sake. This is ridiculous.” She punched me on the shoulder but there was little enthusiasm in the act. “I saw a sign a bit down the highway for an ‘Information and Tourist Centre’. Let's just head over there, I'll go inside and I'll get directions."
This was the best idea that I'd heard all day. "Suz," I say, "you my dear are absolutely brilliant! No wonder I love you so much!"
She looks at me. Or maybe through me. "Sure. Whatever." She casts a weary eye about our surroundings, "Let's just get to the Lodge."
With the optimism that can only be mustered by the seriously mentally ill, we wheel the bike around and in a few minutes are pulling into the parking lot of the Information Centre to get the low-down on all things touristy. I don't even mind that the place is spelled all Frenchy.
"Tell you what," Mom says as she pulls off her helmet, "you stay here with the bike and I'll just pop in. I'll be back in a jiffy."
I think this has less to do with saving time, and more about having a short break from me, but I'm smart enough not to press the issue. "That would be grand sweetie. Thank you."
She heads off towards the building. Slightly shuffling, shoulders hunched. The day has certainly taken its toll. But I'm positive this will soon be just a memory that we can laugh about later.
I'm sure I make a sight, sitting in the parking lot in the pouring rain on a weird shaped bike, arguing with a GPS, but I could not care less. Any modesty had been beaten out of me long, long ago. Just for giggles I plug the PO Box into Sweet Alice. To my surprise, it actually registers on the screen! Although it is obviously wrong, because it shows the location up in the mountains where there are no roads. Yet, I'm encouraged that the Lodge is around here somewhere and not an internet scam as I was beginning to suspect.
The minutes tick by. And tick. Then tock. And eventually they drag on and there is no sign of your mother. I'm actually beginning to get worried. What if my premonitions were right, but I had the wrong Tourist Centre? What, if at the very moment, my loving wife of 28 years was being all molestered by cannibals? Canadian cannibals at that?
Right then and there I began to hate Canada.
*** the journey continues ***
I can feel something building in your Mom. Something dark and disquieting. Something powerful and ominous and thoroughly unpleasant.
"Oh for God's sake. This is ridiculous.” She punched me on the shoulder but there was little enthusiasm in the act. “I saw a sign a bit down the highway for an ‘Information and Tourist Centre’. Let's just head over there, I'll go inside and I'll get directions."
This was the best idea that I'd heard all day. "Suz," I say, "you my dear are absolutely brilliant! No wonder I love you so much!"
She looks at me. Or maybe through me. "Sure. Whatever." She casts a weary eye about our surroundings, "Let's just get to the Lodge."
With the optimism that can only be mustered by the seriously mentally ill, we wheel the bike around and in a few minutes are pulling into the parking lot of the Information Centre to get the low-down on all things touristy. I don't even mind that the place is spelled all Frenchy.
"Tell you what," Mom says as she pulls off her helmet, "you stay here with the bike and I'll just pop in. I'll be back in a jiffy."
I think this has less to do with saving time, and more about having a short break from me, but I'm smart enough not to press the issue. "That would be grand sweetie. Thank you."
She heads off towards the building. Slightly shuffling, shoulders hunched. The day has certainly taken its toll. But I'm positive this will soon be just a memory that we can laugh about later.
I'm sure I make a sight, sitting in the parking lot in the pouring rain on a weird shaped bike, arguing with a GPS, but I could not care less. Any modesty had been beaten out of me long, long ago. Just for giggles I plug the PO Box into Sweet Alice. To my surprise, it actually registers on the screen! Although it is obviously wrong, because it shows the location up in the mountains where there are no roads. Yet, I'm encouraged that the Lodge is around here somewhere and not an internet scam as I was beginning to suspect.
The minutes tick by. And tick. Then tock. And eventually they drag on and there is no sign of your mother. I'm actually beginning to get worried. What if my premonitions were right, but I had the wrong Tourist Centre? What, if at the very moment, my loving wife of 28 years was being all molestered by cannibals? Canadian cannibals at that?
Right then and there I began to hate Canada.
*** the journey continues ***
Sabtu, 19 Februari 2011
Facebook pages
Just a reminder there is a HUGE amount of photos and videos now on my Motorcycle Paradise Facebook page and CB1100 page So put aside your notion of not wanting to follow the crowd and join the online social revolution before you get left behind.
Dainese Guanto X-ILE gloves
One of the things I decided to do after my spill in the Japanese alps was to change out my summer gloves from O’Neil Moto-X items to items with greater protection. I wanted a glove that offered genuine high protection in a summer glove. After reading many reviews I went with the Dainese Guanto gloves. These are a leather glove with some spandex portions and some perforated area and offer a
Jumat, 18 Februari 2011
Polar Bear Grand Tour - PIC-A-LILLI INN on 2/13/2011
Check out pictures and videos of the 14th motorcycle run of the Polar Bear Grand Tour season to the PIC-A-LILLI INN at Shamong, NJ on February 13, 2011.
Motorcycle Pictures of the Week - Malta
Here are my Pictures of the Week as displayed on the Motorcycle Views Website. This feature has been expanded to include Bikes Only and Trikes Only. These pictures are taken from the Moto Pic Gallery. See Malta's 1987 Honda Shadow VT700C under Bikes Only. There are no Trikes Only, Women on Motorcycles, or Men on Motorcycles this week. We need more pictures of men and women with their motorcycles. Get your picture in. For details, see Motorcycle Pictures of the Week.
Rabu, 16 Februari 2011
Something Dark and Disquieting This Way Comes
*** continued from previous post ***
Mom climbs off the bike and instantly her seat is wet. I don't think she cares anymore. She rummages around in the various articles that we've stowed and, after what seems like an eternity, finds the confirmation paper. It starts to get soaked immediately, so she folds it in half and hands it to me, trying to keep the printing dry. We don't need any more mishaps on this fine and beautiful day.
Triumphantly, and with a wag of my tongue in the general direction of the GPS, I unfold the note. HA! There is the confirmation. There are the dates. There is how we paid. There is, quite quizzically, no phone number. Perhaps I should have noticed that before.
No matter, there is an address. Oh yes . . . there is an address. Hope flushes through my system like Mentos in a Diet Coke. Rain had peppered my glasses and I squint to read the print in the dimming gray light. The address is . . . PO Box AB804, Carnack AB.
I swear I heard the GPS snicker.
"What’s the matter?" Mom asks but her tone says she really doesn't want to know.
"Well. Well, well, well." I brace myself, "Seems like the only address we have is a PO Box."
I can feel something building in your Mom. Something dark and disquieting. Something powerful and ominous and thoroughly unpleasant.
*** the journey continues 02/21/11***
Mom climbs off the bike and instantly her seat is wet. I don't think she cares anymore. She rummages around in the various articles that we've stowed and, after what seems like an eternity, finds the confirmation paper. It starts to get soaked immediately, so she folds it in half and hands it to me, trying to keep the printing dry. We don't need any more mishaps on this fine and beautiful day.
Triumphantly, and with a wag of my tongue in the general direction of the GPS, I unfold the note. HA! There is the confirmation. There are the dates. There is how we paid. There is, quite quizzically, no phone number. Perhaps I should have noticed that before.
No matter, there is an address. Oh yes . . . there is an address. Hope flushes through my system like Mentos in a Diet Coke. Rain had peppered my glasses and I squint to read the print in the dimming gray light. The address is . . . PO Box AB804, Carnack AB.
I swear I heard the GPS snicker.
"What’s the matter?" Mom asks but her tone says she really doesn't want to know.
"Well. Well, well, well." I brace myself, "Seems like the only address we have is a PO Box."
I can feel something building in your Mom. Something dark and disquieting. Something powerful and ominous and thoroughly unpleasant.
*** the journey continues 02/21/11***
Yamaha Raptor 700R, 2009
Yamaha Raptor 700R, 2009
The designed to dominate any terrain, the sharp-handling 2009 Yamaha Raptor 700R draws jaw dropping power from a 686cc liquid cooled engine. Electronic fuel injection means fantastic throttle response and performance, while a light hybrid chassis with aluminum rear section helps make it the lightest thing in its class.
At the top of the food chain you have little competiton, and with the Raptor 700R, there simply is no other ATV like it.
This is truly a lightweight big-bore sport ATV, with an engine designed for torque, and a chassis designed to rail corners. Inspired by the YFZ, the Raptor 700 R has many of the race bred features developed from years on the track, with a little extra comfort built in. With a wider/thicker seat, taller bars and suspension damping geared for the trails, the Raptor has an edge over the YFZ for long distance trail riding. It's more comfortable, has more leg room, and with all that torque, you aren't searching for gears every corner. So if you're looking for the ultimate sport ATV, and spend most of your time on the trails, look no further. The Raptor 700 R… let them eat YOUR dust.
NOTHING ELSE GETS CLOSE.
If storming, effortless power in a world class chassis is the perfect recipe for an ATV, then the YFM700R is a feast fit for a king.
The YFM700R starter button opens a door into a whole new ATV landscape of high-traction discovery. This isn't just the biggest-engined Yamaha ATV, it's also one of the most exciting.
There are three main factors contributing to YFM700R's exceptionally ride characteristics. First, the hybrid aluminium/steel sports chassis, which makes it the lightest ATV in its class. Then there's the highly absorbent, fully adjustable long-travel suspension front and rear for precise handling and energy-saving comfort on long rapid trail rides.
And finally of course there's the mighty 686cc engine, the YFM700R's smoothly pounding heart. This single-cylinder powerhouse is the ultimate expression of Yamaha's four-stroke engineering expertise. High torque and big-bore power gives the 700R terrain-conquering ability irrespective of whether it's on the flat, a loose incline or across rocky slopes. A confidence-building ride is built into every bolt, spring, chassis section and engine part. Big front disc brakes with twin-piston calipers and an adjustable lever give maximum stopping performance, while EFI fuel injection provides advanced fuel management for optimum power delivery.
Any expectations based on previous ATV experience have to be left back in the van because the dynamic 700R will reset every benchmark you ever had. If unstoppable riding action is top of the wish list, nothing else comes close.
Highlights:
= New LCD gauges with speed and dual trips
= 686cc of liquid-cooled fuel-injected power
The features and benefits:
The 686cc Fuel Injected SOHC 4-valve single is a high torque monster that's so smooth, you may find yourself using fewer gears to go from corner to corner.
YFI means no choke and easier cold starting.
A forged piston for reduced weight and added durability, combined with an aluminum cylinder body with composite coating offers reduced weight, increased cooling ability and additional wear resistance.
Roller rocker arms reduce friction in the valve train, which allows the engine to rev more freely leading to better overall performance and improved throttle response.
The frame of the Raptor 700R will also turn heads thanks to its hybrid design. High-tensile steel marries with a cast aluminum frame up front, while the rear frame is die-cast aluminum. This design ensures the Raptor stays compact and light weight while reducing vibration and ensuring optimum rigidity.
The double-wishbone front A-arms feature reduced weight and increased strength thanks to the use of aluminum, square-shaped tubes of the upper arms and steel lower arms.
The front shock absorber incorporates a oil damper, adding to the optimum suspension set up.
The one piece aluminum die-cast rear swing arm offers superior rear wheel traction, reduced weight and added comfort for the rider.
Not that you'll want to stop once you get a taste of the Raptor 700R, but it's worth noting that the braking system is ready, willing and definitely able to stop you in your tracks. The hydraulic front brakes get YFZ-type twin piston front calipers while the rear disc size is reduced for lighter weight. The new system provides plenty of stopping power regardless of the terrain you're traversing.
The popular toggle link-type parking brake lever returns for 2008 with the auto-adjust feature that keeps maintenance to a minimum.
The power of the Raptor 700R is put to the ground via a set of front and rear Dunlop radials. This design offers improved cornering and added comfort to riders under a bevy of conditions.
The tires are mounted on aluminum rims, which include a rolled edge for added durability.
The Raptor incorporates a YFZ-style headlight, integrated LED tail light and YZ-style seat, which helps to improve rider mobility and comfort under all riding conditions.
At the top of the food chain you have little competiton, and with the Raptor 700R, there simply is no other ATV like it.
This is truly a lightweight big-bore sport ATV, with an engine designed for torque, and a chassis designed to rail corners. Inspired by the YFZ, the Raptor 700 R has many of the race bred features developed from years on the track, with a little extra comfort built in. With a wider/thicker seat, taller bars and suspension damping geared for the trails, the Raptor has an edge over the YFZ for long distance trail riding. It's more comfortable, has more leg room, and with all that torque, you aren't searching for gears every corner. So if you're looking for the ultimate sport ATV, and spend most of your time on the trails, look no further. The Raptor 700 R… let them eat YOUR dust.
NOTHING ELSE GETS CLOSE.
If storming, effortless power in a world class chassis is the perfect recipe for an ATV, then the YFM700R is a feast fit for a king.
The YFM700R starter button opens a door into a whole new ATV landscape of high-traction discovery. This isn't just the biggest-engined Yamaha ATV, it's also one of the most exciting.
There are three main factors contributing to YFM700R's exceptionally ride characteristics. First, the hybrid aluminium/steel sports chassis, which makes it the lightest ATV in its class. Then there's the highly absorbent, fully adjustable long-travel suspension front and rear for precise handling and energy-saving comfort on long rapid trail rides.
And finally of course there's the mighty 686cc engine, the YFM700R's smoothly pounding heart. This single-cylinder powerhouse is the ultimate expression of Yamaha's four-stroke engineering expertise. High torque and big-bore power gives the 700R terrain-conquering ability irrespective of whether it's on the flat, a loose incline or across rocky slopes. A confidence-building ride is built into every bolt, spring, chassis section and engine part. Big front disc brakes with twin-piston calipers and an adjustable lever give maximum stopping performance, while EFI fuel injection provides advanced fuel management for optimum power delivery.
Any expectations based on previous ATV experience have to be left back in the van because the dynamic 700R will reset every benchmark you ever had. If unstoppable riding action is top of the wish list, nothing else comes close.
Highlights:
= New LCD gauges with speed and dual trips
= 686cc of liquid-cooled fuel-injected power
The features and benefits:
The 686cc Fuel Injected SOHC 4-valve single is a high torque monster that's so smooth, you may find yourself using fewer gears to go from corner to corner.
YFI means no choke and easier cold starting.
A forged piston for reduced weight and added durability, combined with an aluminum cylinder body with composite coating offers reduced weight, increased cooling ability and additional wear resistance.
Roller rocker arms reduce friction in the valve train, which allows the engine to rev more freely leading to better overall performance and improved throttle response.
The frame of the Raptor 700R will also turn heads thanks to its hybrid design. High-tensile steel marries with a cast aluminum frame up front, while the rear frame is die-cast aluminum. This design ensures the Raptor stays compact and light weight while reducing vibration and ensuring optimum rigidity.
The double-wishbone front A-arms feature reduced weight and increased strength thanks to the use of aluminum, square-shaped tubes of the upper arms and steel lower arms.
The front shock absorber incorporates a oil damper, adding to the optimum suspension set up.
The one piece aluminum die-cast rear swing arm offers superior rear wheel traction, reduced weight and added comfort for the rider.
Not that you'll want to stop once you get a taste of the Raptor 700R, but it's worth noting that the braking system is ready, willing and definitely able to stop you in your tracks. The hydraulic front brakes get YFZ-type twin piston front calipers while the rear disc size is reduced for lighter weight. The new system provides plenty of stopping power regardless of the terrain you're traversing.
The popular toggle link-type parking brake lever returns for 2008 with the auto-adjust feature that keeps maintenance to a minimum.
The power of the Raptor 700R is put to the ground via a set of front and rear Dunlop radials. This design offers improved cornering and added comfort to riders under a bevy of conditions.
The tires are mounted on aluminum rims, which include a rolled edge for added durability.
The Raptor incorporates a YFZ-style headlight, integrated LED tail light and YZ-style seat, which helps to improve rider mobility and comfort under all riding conditions.
Yamaha Raptor 700R SE, 2009
Yamaha Raptor 700R SE, 2009
Designed to dominate any terrain, the sharp-handling Yamaha Raptor 700R SE draws jaw dropping power from a 686cc liquid cooled engine. Electronic fuel injection means fantastic throttle response and performance, while a light hybrid chassis with aluminum rear section helps make it the lightest thing in its class.
The Raptor 700 R SE adds a few special touches to the already class leading Raptor. A custom Black and Red colour scheme and super high performance piggy-back clicker shocks with high and low speed compression damping adjustment.
The features and benefits:
= The 686cc Fuel Injected SOHC 4-valve single is a high torque monster that's so smooth, you may find yourself using fewer gears to go from corner to corner. With a focus on low to mid-range power, and incredible throttle response, you don't have to worry about always keeping the engine in the power band, Instead… just stab the throttle and feel it pull.
= The most envied component of the Raptor 700R is the Yamaha Fuel Injection system (YFI). The YFI improves throttle response throughout the powerband, helping the rider take advantage of that improved low- to mid-range power.
=YFI offers unmatched performance at high elevation as the system is able to detect and compensate for changes in altitude. The more precise fuel delivery offered by the YFI means clean power delivery, better throttle response and improved fuel economy under a multitude of riding situations.
= YFI means no choke and easier cold starting.
= The forged piston for reduced weight and added durability, combined with an aluminum cylinder body with composite coating offers reduced weight, increased cooling ability and additional wear resistance.
= The roller rocker arms reduce friction in the valve train, which allows the engine to rev more freely leading to better overall performance and improved throttle response.
= The beloved electric start feature continues to make firing the liquid-cooled, four-valve SOHC powerplant to life a snap.
= Delivering all that power is the five-speed manual transmission (with reverse, of course). The transmission's gearing ratio has been revised, optimizing the additional power and making full use of the powerband under a variety of riding situations.
= The direct-type ratchet shifter gives a more direct, improved shift feeling - similar to that found on the Raptor's two-wheeled racing cousins, the YZ line.
= Continuing along the backside of the 700R, we find the Yamaha Cam Adjust drive chain adjuster. This eccentric shaft-type design makes for quick and easy chain adjustments.
= The frame of the Raptor 700R will also turn heads thanks to its hybrid design. High-tensile steel marries with a cast aluminum frame up front, while the rear frame is die-cast aluminum. This design ensures the Raptor stays compact and light weight while reducing vibration and ensuring optimum rigidity.
= Adding even more performance the SE Raptor sports piggy-back clicker shocks to the front and back with high and low speed compression adjustment.
= The double-wishbone front A-arms feature reduced weight and increased strength thanks to the use of aluminum, square-shaped tubes of the upper arms and steel lower arms.
= The front shock absorber incorporates a high pressure gas (HPG) oil damper, adding to the optimum suspension set up.
= The one piece aluminum die-cast rear swing arm offers superior rear wheel traction, reduced weight and added comfort for the rider.
= The popular toggle link-type parking brake lever returns for 2008 with the auto-adjust feature that keeps maintenance to a minimum.
= The power of the Raptor 700R is put to the ground via a set of front and rear Dunlop radials. This design offers improved cornering and added comfort to riders under a bevy of conditions.
= The tires are mounted on aluminum rims, which include a rolled edge for added durability.
= The Raptor incorporates a YFZ-style headlight, integrated LED tail light and YZ-style seat, which helps to improve rider mobility and comfort under all riding conditions.
= Attracting attention out back is the exhaust system - a stainless two-into-one pipe and oval shape silencer, which has been turned sideways, adding a unique flair to the Raptor's ultra-aggressive look.
=Newly designed Liquid Crystal Display provides improved functionality including a speedometer, odometer with dual trips and even a clock.
= Newly designed throttle lever designed to reduce hand and thumb fatigue.
The Specifications :
Engine 4-stroke, SOHC, liquid-cooled, single
Displacement 686cc
Bore and Stroke 102 x 84mm
Compression Ratio 9.2:1
Carburetion Yamaha Fuel Injection (YFI), 44mm
Ignition 16 Bit ECU
Starting Electric
Transmission Wide-ratio 5-Speed Manual Clutch w/Reverse
Final Drive Sealed O-ring chain
Suspension (Front) Independent double wishbone, 9.1" travel w/piggy back with high/low speed compression, rebound and threaded preload adjustment
Suspension (Rear) Cast aluminum swingarm, 10.1" travel w/piggy back with high/low speed compression, rebound and threaded preload adjustment
Brakes (Front) Dual Hydraulic Disc, Twin Piston Caliper
Brakes (Rear) Hydraulic Disc with wave style rotor and self adjusting parking brake function
Tires (Front) AT21x7-10 Radial
Tires (Rear) AT20x10-9 Radial
Length 1,845mm (72.6")
Width 1,170mm (46.1")
Height 1,130mm (44.5")
Wheelbase 1,280mm (50.4")
Ground Clearance 112mm (4.4")
Seat Height 815mm (32")
Dry Weight 180kg (396 lb)
Fuel Capacity 11 litres
The Raptor 700 R SE adds a few special touches to the already class leading Raptor. A custom Black and Red colour scheme and super high performance piggy-back clicker shocks with high and low speed compression damping adjustment.
The features and benefits:
= The 686cc Fuel Injected SOHC 4-valve single is a high torque monster that's so smooth, you may find yourself using fewer gears to go from corner to corner. With a focus on low to mid-range power, and incredible throttle response, you don't have to worry about always keeping the engine in the power band, Instead… just stab the throttle and feel it pull.
= The most envied component of the Raptor 700R is the Yamaha Fuel Injection system (YFI). The YFI improves throttle response throughout the powerband, helping the rider take advantage of that improved low- to mid-range power.
=YFI offers unmatched performance at high elevation as the system is able to detect and compensate for changes in altitude. The more precise fuel delivery offered by the YFI means clean power delivery, better throttle response and improved fuel economy under a multitude of riding situations.
= YFI means no choke and easier cold starting.
= The forged piston for reduced weight and added durability, combined with an aluminum cylinder body with composite coating offers reduced weight, increased cooling ability and additional wear resistance.
= The roller rocker arms reduce friction in the valve train, which allows the engine to rev more freely leading to better overall performance and improved throttle response.
= The beloved electric start feature continues to make firing the liquid-cooled, four-valve SOHC powerplant to life a snap.
= Delivering all that power is the five-speed manual transmission (with reverse, of course). The transmission's gearing ratio has been revised, optimizing the additional power and making full use of the powerband under a variety of riding situations.
= The direct-type ratchet shifter gives a more direct, improved shift feeling - similar to that found on the Raptor's two-wheeled racing cousins, the YZ line.
= Continuing along the backside of the 700R, we find the Yamaha Cam Adjust drive chain adjuster. This eccentric shaft-type design makes for quick and easy chain adjustments.
= The frame of the Raptor 700R will also turn heads thanks to its hybrid design. High-tensile steel marries with a cast aluminum frame up front, while the rear frame is die-cast aluminum. This design ensures the Raptor stays compact and light weight while reducing vibration and ensuring optimum rigidity.
= Adding even more performance the SE Raptor sports piggy-back clicker shocks to the front and back with high and low speed compression adjustment.
= The double-wishbone front A-arms feature reduced weight and increased strength thanks to the use of aluminum, square-shaped tubes of the upper arms and steel lower arms.
= The front shock absorber incorporates a high pressure gas (HPG) oil damper, adding to the optimum suspension set up.
= The one piece aluminum die-cast rear swing arm offers superior rear wheel traction, reduced weight and added comfort for the rider.
= The popular toggle link-type parking brake lever returns for 2008 with the auto-adjust feature that keeps maintenance to a minimum.
= The power of the Raptor 700R is put to the ground via a set of front and rear Dunlop radials. This design offers improved cornering and added comfort to riders under a bevy of conditions.
= The tires are mounted on aluminum rims, which include a rolled edge for added durability.
= The Raptor incorporates a YFZ-style headlight, integrated LED tail light and YZ-style seat, which helps to improve rider mobility and comfort under all riding conditions.
= Attracting attention out back is the exhaust system - a stainless two-into-one pipe and oval shape silencer, which has been turned sideways, adding a unique flair to the Raptor's ultra-aggressive look.
=Newly designed Liquid Crystal Display provides improved functionality including a speedometer, odometer with dual trips and even a clock.
= Newly designed throttle lever designed to reduce hand and thumb fatigue.
The Specifications :
Engine 4-stroke, SOHC, liquid-cooled, single
Displacement 686cc
Bore and Stroke 102 x 84mm
Compression Ratio 9.2:1
Carburetion Yamaha Fuel Injection (YFI), 44mm
Ignition 16 Bit ECU
Starting Electric
Transmission Wide-ratio 5-Speed Manual Clutch w/Reverse
Final Drive Sealed O-ring chain
Suspension (Front) Independent double wishbone, 9.1" travel w/piggy back with high/low speed compression, rebound and threaded preload adjustment
Suspension (Rear) Cast aluminum swingarm, 10.1" travel w/piggy back with high/low speed compression, rebound and threaded preload adjustment
Brakes (Front) Dual Hydraulic Disc, Twin Piston Caliper
Brakes (Rear) Hydraulic Disc with wave style rotor and self adjusting parking brake function
Tires (Front) AT21x7-10 Radial
Tires (Rear) AT20x10-9 Radial
Length 1,845mm (72.6")
Width 1,170mm (46.1")
Height 1,130mm (44.5")
Wheelbase 1,280mm (50.4")
Ground Clearance 112mm (4.4")
Seat Height 815mm (32")
Dry Weight 180kg (396 lb)
Fuel Capacity 11 litres
Yamaha Raptor 350, 2009
Yamaha Raptor 350, 2009
Based upon one of our all-time best sport ATV's, the Warrior 350, the Raptor 350 features a reconfigured geometry and a lighter overall body weight. The result is a powerful yet highly nimble machine.
The Raptor 350 is a direct descendant of one of our best all-time sport ATV's, the Warrior 350.
Highlights:
Convenient reverse gear
Gas shock with YZ link
The features and benefits:
-The convenient push-button electric start works in any gear for easy operation.
-Washable foam air filter provides excellent filtering qualities.
-Close-ratio, manual 6-speed transmission with reverse that can be selected from any forward gear.
-Dual front 160mm hydraulic discs and single 225mm hydraulic rear disc. Low maintenance and powerful brakes consistent in all conditions.
-The dash panel features indicator lights for both neutral and reverse gear positions.
-Toggle-type parking brake.
-Wider foot-peg.
-Shift lever shape.
-Lightweight muffler.
-Under-seat electronics bay.
-Body style fender and bumpers.
-Raptor type dual headlights with 30 watt krypton bulbs.
-Raptor type tail light with brake light.
Engine 4-stroke, SOHC, liquid-cooled, single
Displacement 686cc
Bore and Stroke 102 x 84mm
Compression Ratio 9.2:1
Carburetion Yamaha Fuel Injection (YFI), 44mm
Ignition 16 Bit ECU
Starting Electric
Transmission Wide-ratio 5-Speed Manual Clutch w/Reverse
Final Drive Sealed O-ring chain
Suspension (Front) Independent double wishbone, 9.1" travel w/piggy back with high/low speed compression, rebound and threaded preload adjustment
Suspension (Rear) Cast aluminum swingarm, 10.1" travel w/piggy back with high/low speed compression, rebound and threaded preload adjustment
Brakes (Front) Dual Hydraulic Disc, Twin Piston Caliper
Brakes (Rear) Hydraulic Disc, Self Adjusting park Brake Function
Tires (Front) AT21x7-10 Radial
Tires (Rear) AT20x10-9 Radial
Length 1,845mm (72.6")
Width 1,170mm (46.1")
Height 1,130mm (44.5")
Wheelbase 1,280mm (50.4")
Ground Clearance 112mm (4.4")
Seat Height 815mm (32")
Dry Weight 180kg (396 lb)
Fuel Capacity 11 litres
The Raptor 350 is a direct descendant of one of our best all-time sport ATV's, the Warrior 350.
Highlights:
Convenient reverse gear
Gas shock with YZ link
The features and benefits:
-The convenient push-button electric start works in any gear for easy operation.
-Washable foam air filter provides excellent filtering qualities.
-Close-ratio, manual 6-speed transmission with reverse that can be selected from any forward gear.
-Dual front 160mm hydraulic discs and single 225mm hydraulic rear disc. Low maintenance and powerful brakes consistent in all conditions.
-The dash panel features indicator lights for both neutral and reverse gear positions.
-Toggle-type parking brake.
-Wider foot-peg.
-Shift lever shape.
-Lightweight muffler.
-Under-seat electronics bay.
-Body style fender and bumpers.
-Raptor type dual headlights with 30 watt krypton bulbs.
-Raptor type tail light with brake light.
Engine 4-stroke, SOHC, liquid-cooled, single
Displacement 686cc
Bore and Stroke 102 x 84mm
Compression Ratio 9.2:1
Carburetion Yamaha Fuel Injection (YFI), 44mm
Ignition 16 Bit ECU
Starting Electric
Transmission Wide-ratio 5-Speed Manual Clutch w/Reverse
Final Drive Sealed O-ring chain
Suspension (Front) Independent double wishbone, 9.1" travel w/piggy back with high/low speed compression, rebound and threaded preload adjustment
Suspension (Rear) Cast aluminum swingarm, 10.1" travel w/piggy back with high/low speed compression, rebound and threaded preload adjustment
Brakes (Front) Dual Hydraulic Disc, Twin Piston Caliper
Brakes (Rear) Hydraulic Disc, Self Adjusting park Brake Function
Tires (Front) AT21x7-10 Radial
Tires (Rear) AT20x10-9 Radial
Length 1,845mm (72.6")
Width 1,170mm (46.1")
Height 1,130mm (44.5")
Wheelbase 1,280mm (50.4")
Ground Clearance 112mm (4.4")
Seat Height 815mm (32")
Dry Weight 180kg (396 lb)
Fuel Capacity 11 litres
Yamaha Raptor 250 SE, 2009
Yamaha Raptor 250 SE, 2009
Kid brother to the 700R, the Raptor 250SE brings performance, style and versatility, in a smaller lightweight package.
The big bore Raptors are always at the top of the sales charts. Cause you ride in the real world, and the Raptor is still the best real world Sport ATV on the market.
Engine 4-stroke, SOHC, air-cooled, single
Displacement 249cc
Bore and Stroke 74.0 x 58.0 mm
Compression Ratio 9.5:1
Carburetion Mikuni BSR 29mm
Ignition DC-C.D.I.
Starting Electric start
Transmission 5-speed manual
Final Drive Chain
Suspension (Front) Independent Double Wishbone w/double tube front shocks, 7.5" travel;
Suspension (Rear) Link less Mono-Cross rear suspension with aluminum swingarm, 7.9" travel;
Brakes (Front) dual hydraulic discs
Brakes (Rear) hydraulic disc
Tires (Front) AT20X7-10 Radial
Tires (Rear) AT19X10-9 Radial
Length 1625mm
Width 1070mm
Height 1040mm
Wheelbase 1110mm
Ground Clearance 100mm / 195mm
Seat Height 730mm
Dry Weight 142kg
Fuel Capacity 9 Liters
The big bore Raptors are always at the top of the sales charts. Cause you ride in the real world, and the Raptor is still the best real world Sport ATV on the market.
Engine 4-stroke, SOHC, air-cooled, single
Displacement 249cc
Bore and Stroke 74.0 x 58.0 mm
Compression Ratio 9.5:1
Carburetion Mikuni BSR 29mm
Ignition DC-C.D.I.
Starting Electric start
Transmission 5-speed manual
Final Drive Chain
Suspension (Front) Independent Double Wishbone w/double tube front shocks, 7.5" travel;
Suspension (Rear) Link less Mono-Cross rear suspension with aluminum swingarm, 7.9" travel;
Brakes (Front) dual hydraulic discs
Brakes (Rear) hydraulic disc
Tires (Front) AT20X7-10 Radial
Tires (Rear) AT19X10-9 Radial
Length 1625mm
Width 1070mm
Height 1040mm
Wheelbase 1110mm
Ground Clearance 100mm / 195mm
Seat Height 730mm
Dry Weight 142kg
Fuel Capacity 9 Liters
Yamaha Grizzly 700 FI EPS Special Edition, 2009
Yamaha Grizzly 700 FI EPS Special Edition, 2009
Features and Benefits:
Key Features:
The Grizzly 700 Special Edition comes with cast aluminum wheels, water dipped body panels and special graphics.
Most powerful Grizzly ever: 686cc liquid-cooled, four-stroke engine and light weight add up to the best power-to-weight ratio of any utility model in the industry.
Electronic fuel injection means instantaneous cold starts and optimal performance in all conditions and at all altitudes.
Industry first: Electronic Power Steering system lightens steering for superior comfort and terrainability.
Industry-exclusive, fully automatic Ultramatic® transmission is the most advanced drive system in ATV-ing. An automatic centrifugal clutch maintains constant belt tension for reduced belt wear and industry-exclusive all-wheel downhill engine braking.
Industry-exclusive, three-position On-Command® In/Out 4WD feature lets you switch between 2WD, limited-slip 4WD and fully locked differential 4WD — all with the simple push of a button.
Fully independent long-travel four-wheel suspension features double-wishbone suspension front and rear with five-way preload-adjustable shocks for maximum control and comfort over rough terrain. Smoothest-running and -riding Grizzly ever.
Trick digital instrument panel boasts a multifunction LCD display with speedometer, odometer, dual tripmeter, hourmeter, 4WD status, transmission position, clock and fuel gauge.
Engine:
Raptor-based four-valve combustion chamber design produces a potent combination of low-rev torque, right-now throttle response and high horsepower.
Compact engine design features a 35-degree cylinder angle for ground clearance and lower seat height for quick steering and maneuverability.
Electronic fuel injection provides a perfect fuel/air mixture regardless of temperature or altitude, and makes cold starts a snap.
Gear-driven crankshaft balancer shaft and new-design rubber-damper engine mounts reduce vibration.
Ceramic-composite cylinder liners provide outstanding durability and heat dissipation; forged piston is light and strong and rides a carburized, chrome-moly connecting rod.
Two-lobe overhead cam and a pair of needle-roller rocker arms reduce friction by 50 percent for increased fuel efficiency and torque.
Mikuni® fuel injection with 44mm bore and throttle position sensor means easy cold starts and flawless fuel delivery in nearly any condition.
Pushbutton electric start with seven-disk torque-limiting damper assembly protects the starter motor.
Straight driveshaft layout eliminates U-joints for reduced friction, vibration and maintenance.
Stainless steel exhaust system features aluminum heat shields and a screen-type spark arrestor for great power with minimum noise output.
High-capacity aluminum radiator with fan-assist delivers maximum cooling efficiency and is positioned high in the frame for optimal protection.
Automatic cam chain tensioner reduces engine maintenance and helps extend engine life.
Five-position shift lever with H, L, N, R and P gates provides positive Ultramatic transmission operation.
Override button allows engine to make maximum rpm in full Diff Lock mode.
Override button allows engine to make maximum rpm in full Diff Lock mode.
Sealed drive case keeps out water and debris to help prevent belt from slipping.
The Chassis and The Suspension:
Comfortable chassis provides outstanding handling and maneuverability.
Lay-down-style front suspension A-arms provide outstanding ground clearance.
Five-way preload-adjustable shocks provide a controlled, comfortable ride, whatever the load or trail conditions.
Four-wheel hydraulic disc brakes serve up consistent, long-lasting braking power under all sorts of nasty conditions.
Electronic power steering varies assist according to speed and rpm for increased comfort and incredible maneuverability—even in 4WD.
5.3-gallon fuel tank is located under the seat for excellent mass centralization and handling; there’s a 4.8-liter waterproof storage compartment under there, too.
11.8 inches of ground clearance and full-length composite skidplate deliver maximum underbelly protection while enhancing terrainability.
25x8-12 front and 25x10-12 rear Dunlop® tires provide responsive steering and handling and excellent comfort.
Rugged injection-molded front bumper and CV joint guards protect against rock and debris damage.
The Additional Features:
Rugged injection-molded front bumper and CV joint guards protect against rock and debris damage.
An analog speedometer shows your velocity at a glance.
Rugged steel cargo racks with special, extra-durable wrinkle paint finish can pack a total of 286 pounds combined (99 front, 187 rear).
Center-mounted, heavy-duty trailer hitch comes standard and can tow more than 1200 pounds.
Large, specially designed seat is extra plush and widely contoured for all-day rider comfort.
Dual 35-watt multi-reflector halogen bulb headlights with high/low beams light up the night.
Key Features:
The Grizzly 700 Special Edition comes with cast aluminum wheels, water dipped body panels and special graphics.
Most powerful Grizzly ever: 686cc liquid-cooled, four-stroke engine and light weight add up to the best power-to-weight ratio of any utility model in the industry.
Electronic fuel injection means instantaneous cold starts and optimal performance in all conditions and at all altitudes.
Industry first: Electronic Power Steering system lightens steering for superior comfort and terrainability.
Industry-exclusive, fully automatic Ultramatic® transmission is the most advanced drive system in ATV-ing. An automatic centrifugal clutch maintains constant belt tension for reduced belt wear and industry-exclusive all-wheel downhill engine braking.
Industry-exclusive, three-position On-Command® In/Out 4WD feature lets you switch between 2WD, limited-slip 4WD and fully locked differential 4WD — all with the simple push of a button.
Fully independent long-travel four-wheel suspension features double-wishbone suspension front and rear with five-way preload-adjustable shocks for maximum control and comfort over rough terrain. Smoothest-running and -riding Grizzly ever.
Trick digital instrument panel boasts a multifunction LCD display with speedometer, odometer, dual tripmeter, hourmeter, 4WD status, transmission position, clock and fuel gauge.
Engine:
Raptor-based four-valve combustion chamber design produces a potent combination of low-rev torque, right-now throttle response and high horsepower.
Compact engine design features a 35-degree cylinder angle for ground clearance and lower seat height for quick steering and maneuverability.
Electronic fuel injection provides a perfect fuel/air mixture regardless of temperature or altitude, and makes cold starts a snap.
Gear-driven crankshaft balancer shaft and new-design rubber-damper engine mounts reduce vibration.
Ceramic-composite cylinder liners provide outstanding durability and heat dissipation; forged piston is light and strong and rides a carburized, chrome-moly connecting rod.
Two-lobe overhead cam and a pair of needle-roller rocker arms reduce friction by 50 percent for increased fuel efficiency and torque.
Mikuni® fuel injection with 44mm bore and throttle position sensor means easy cold starts and flawless fuel delivery in nearly any condition.
Pushbutton electric start with seven-disk torque-limiting damper assembly protects the starter motor.
Straight driveshaft layout eliminates U-joints for reduced friction, vibration and maintenance.
Stainless steel exhaust system features aluminum heat shields and a screen-type spark arrestor for great power with minimum noise output.
High-capacity aluminum radiator with fan-assist delivers maximum cooling efficiency and is positioned high in the frame for optimal protection.
Automatic cam chain tensioner reduces engine maintenance and helps extend engine life.
Five-position shift lever with H, L, N, R and P gates provides positive Ultramatic transmission operation.
Override button allows engine to make maximum rpm in full Diff Lock mode.
Override button allows engine to make maximum rpm in full Diff Lock mode.
Sealed drive case keeps out water and debris to help prevent belt from slipping.
The Chassis and The Suspension:
Comfortable chassis provides outstanding handling and maneuverability.
Lay-down-style front suspension A-arms provide outstanding ground clearance.
Five-way preload-adjustable shocks provide a controlled, comfortable ride, whatever the load or trail conditions.
Four-wheel hydraulic disc brakes serve up consistent, long-lasting braking power under all sorts of nasty conditions.
Electronic power steering varies assist according to speed and rpm for increased comfort and incredible maneuverability—even in 4WD.
5.3-gallon fuel tank is located under the seat for excellent mass centralization and handling; there’s a 4.8-liter waterproof storage compartment under there, too.
11.8 inches of ground clearance and full-length composite skidplate deliver maximum underbelly protection while enhancing terrainability.
25x8-12 front and 25x10-12 rear Dunlop® tires provide responsive steering and handling and excellent comfort.
Rugged injection-molded front bumper and CV joint guards protect against rock and debris damage.
The Additional Features:
Rugged injection-molded front bumper and CV joint guards protect against rock and debris damage.
An analog speedometer shows your velocity at a glance.
Rugged steel cargo racks with special, extra-durable wrinkle paint finish can pack a total of 286 pounds combined (99 front, 187 rear).
Center-mounted, heavy-duty trailer hitch comes standard and can tow more than 1200 pounds.
Large, specially designed seat is extra plush and widely contoured for all-day rider comfort.
Dual 35-watt multi-reflector halogen bulb headlights with high/low beams light up the night.
Selasa, 15 Februari 2011
It's Never Too Early To Suck Up To Our Eventual Robotic Overlords - All Hail Klatu 9!
*** continued from previous post ***
I continue to scroll through the listings. It goes directly from "Lola’s Mountain Manor Motor Lodge" to "My Converted Garage That Still Smells a Bit of Wet Cat and Mustard But Looks Kind Of Victorian if You Squint Your Eyes and Tilt Your Head To The Right Bed And Breakfast."
Uh oh.
Ever so quietly, barely audible, I hear the sultry Aussie voice of the GPS whisper "Your not gonna find it Mate. Take my advice, turn around."
"Shut up," I mutter, now frantically pressing the scroll buttons hoping beyond hope that I had somehow missed the listing.
"Game oveh. Yer screwed. I suggest suicide," purrs my digital Sweet Alice.
I lean close to the screen, "Shut the hell up before I rip you out by your wires and chuck you into the ditch."
"Who are you talking to?", Mom asks.
"Nobody," I reply, a bit more harshly than I intended.
Like syrup being poured from a bottle, the GPS whispers, "Tell you what Mate. How 'bout if'n I direct you to the nearest Hospital 'cause yer gonna need one inna minute."
Mom leans forward. "Are you strangling the GPS?"
I look to my hands. Unconsciously, they've gravitated towards the GPS and are now engaged in some serious squeezing. "Umm . . . no. I think there's a loose wire, I was just trying to fix it."
Even through the rain and the helmets I can hear your Mom sigh.
“Strangling a helpless piece of technology. You've gone round the bend, eh? Toys in the attic and all that? You f'ed it up right good now, ain't ya?", whispers my sweet Aussie princess.
I may have started to weep. I don't know. Suddenly inspiration strikes!
"Suz! We have the confirmation email in the saddle bag. The address and phone number are on there. I'll just plug the address directly into the GPS and whoopsie-doodles, we will be there in a flash!"
Ha Ha! Take that you commie-pinko GPS! Your taunts mean nothing now! I've beaten you at your game for I am an AMERICAN! I am from THE STATES! Our kind created you, and our kind will destroy you at will! Well, until the eventual takeover by our Robotic Overloads. Which we all know is a given. All hail Klatu 9!
*** the journey continues ***
I continue to scroll through the listings. It goes directly from "Lola’s Mountain Manor Motor Lodge" to "My Converted Garage That Still Smells a Bit of Wet Cat and Mustard But Looks Kind Of Victorian if You Squint Your Eyes and Tilt Your Head To The Right Bed And Breakfast."
Uh oh.
Ever so quietly, barely audible, I hear the sultry Aussie voice of the GPS whisper "Your not gonna find it Mate. Take my advice, turn around."
"Shut up," I mutter, now frantically pressing the scroll buttons hoping beyond hope that I had somehow missed the listing.
"Game oveh. Yer screwed. I suggest suicide," purrs my digital Sweet Alice.
I lean close to the screen, "Shut the hell up before I rip you out by your wires and chuck you into the ditch."
"Who are you talking to?", Mom asks.
"Nobody," I reply, a bit more harshly than I intended.
Like syrup being poured from a bottle, the GPS whispers, "Tell you what Mate. How 'bout if'n I direct you to the nearest Hospital 'cause yer gonna need one inna minute."
Mom leans forward. "Are you strangling the GPS?"
I look to my hands. Unconsciously, they've gravitated towards the GPS and are now engaged in some serious squeezing. "Umm . . . no. I think there's a loose wire, I was just trying to fix it."
Even through the rain and the helmets I can hear your Mom sigh.
“Strangling a helpless piece of technology. You've gone round the bend, eh? Toys in the attic and all that? You f'ed it up right good now, ain't ya?", whispers my sweet Aussie princess.
I may have started to weep. I don't know. Suddenly inspiration strikes!
"Suz! We have the confirmation email in the saddle bag. The address and phone number are on there. I'll just plug the address directly into the GPS and whoopsie-doodles, we will be there in a flash!"
Ha Ha! Take that you commie-pinko GPS! Your taunts mean nothing now! I've beaten you at your game for I am an AMERICAN! I am from THE STATES! Our kind created you, and our kind will destroy you at will! Well, until the eventual takeover by our Robotic Overloads. Which we all know is a given. All hail Klatu 9!
*** the journey continues ***
Senin, 14 Februari 2011
There May Be Trouble Brewing On The Home Front
*** continued from previous post ***
We rolled through the city limits of Carnack, (motto: Hey! You just drove through Banff at insane speeds! Well done! Enjoy your stay! Bye!"), and Mom, in her ever inquisitive, and I must admit that at this point in the day, somewhat annoying voice, leans forward on the bike and asks, "Thank God. I'm beat. So, where exactly is this place?"
Hmmmmm . . . that's a really good question. As a man is want to do, I supply an answer, even if it is less than helpful. "It's in Carnack."
She doesn't hesitate, she just pulls back and bitch-slaps the back of my helmet. Hard.
"Oh," I say, trying to inject some levity into the situation. "You mean the address. Well tell you what, we will find a parking lot, I'll consult Sweet Alice, (how I long to hear her sultry Aussie voice!), and I'll have you warm, dry, and dozing peacefully in half an hour. Hour tops."
"Okay," she says, but I can hear the suspicion thick in her voice as she answers, much like the subtext in the voice of a film-noire' gumshoe grilling his prime suspect. And not the hot girlfriend suspect. The ugly thug suspect.
With all haste I find an empty parking lot, shut down the bike, and pray that the oracle of the GPS will save us.
I bring up the map on the touch screen. Sure enough, my suspicions are confirmed. We are in Canada. More importantly, we are in Carnack. I punch the button for "Local Attractions", then "Amenities", then the sub-menu for "Hotels". An alphabetical list of all the wonderful places to stay in this paradise are displayed crisply and precisely on the screen. "Here we go," I say with confidence, "I'll just scroll down and find. . ."
Well that's curious. There is no "Hidden Valley Lodge" on the list. I don't panic, because I know it will be listed under "Lodge, Hidden Valley". I chuckle at my mistake and Mom returns a hopeful, yet weary smile. The rain is dripping down the side of her helmet, resembling - although I would never tell her this - a garden fountain gone bad.
I continue to scroll through the listings. It goes directly from "Lola’s Mountain Manor Motor Lodge" to "My Converted Garage That Still Smells a Bit of Wet Cat and Mustard But Looks Kind Of Victorian if You Squint Your Eyes and Tilt Your Head To The Right Bed And Breakfast."
Uh oh.
*** the journey continues ***
We rolled through the city limits of Carnack, (motto: Hey! You just drove through Banff at insane speeds! Well done! Enjoy your stay! Bye!"), and Mom, in her ever inquisitive, and I must admit that at this point in the day, somewhat annoying voice, leans forward on the bike and asks, "Thank God. I'm beat. So, where exactly is this place?"
Hmmmmm . . . that's a really good question. As a man is want to do, I supply an answer, even if it is less than helpful. "It's in Carnack."
She doesn't hesitate, she just pulls back and bitch-slaps the back of my helmet. Hard.
"Oh," I say, trying to inject some levity into the situation. "You mean the address. Well tell you what, we will find a parking lot, I'll consult Sweet Alice, (how I long to hear her sultry Aussie voice!), and I'll have you warm, dry, and dozing peacefully in half an hour. Hour tops."
"Okay," she says, but I can hear the suspicion thick in her voice as she answers, much like the subtext in the voice of a film-noire' gumshoe grilling his prime suspect. And not the hot girlfriend suspect. The ugly thug suspect.
With all haste I find an empty parking lot, shut down the bike, and pray that the oracle of the GPS will save us.
I bring up the map on the touch screen. Sure enough, my suspicions are confirmed. We are in Canada. More importantly, we are in Carnack. I punch the button for "Local Attractions", then "Amenities", then the sub-menu for "Hotels". An alphabetical list of all the wonderful places to stay in this paradise are displayed crisply and precisely on the screen. "Here we go," I say with confidence, "I'll just scroll down and find. . ."
Well that's curious. There is no "Hidden Valley Lodge" on the list. I don't panic, because I know it will be listed under "Lodge, Hidden Valley". I chuckle at my mistake and Mom returns a hopeful, yet weary smile. The rain is dripping down the side of her helmet, resembling - although I would never tell her this - a garden fountain gone bad.
I continue to scroll through the listings. It goes directly from "Lola’s Mountain Manor Motor Lodge" to "My Converted Garage That Still Smells a Bit of Wet Cat and Mustard But Looks Kind Of Victorian if You Squint Your Eyes and Tilt Your Head To The Right Bed And Breakfast."
Uh oh.
*** the journey continues ***
Sabtu, 12 Februari 2011
Polar Bear Grand Tour - The Exchange on 2/6/2011
Check out pictures and videos of the 13th motorcycle run of the Polar Bear Grand Tour season to The Exchange at Rockaway, NJ on February 6, 2011.
Motorcycle Pictures of the Week - Ceetee
Here are my Pictures of the Week as displayed on the Motorcycle Views Website. This feature has been expanded to include Bikes Only and Trikes Only. These pictures are taken from the Moto Pic Gallery. See Ceetee's 2004 Honda Shadow Spirit 1100 under Bikes Only. There are no Trikes Only, Women on Motorcycles, or Men on Motorcycles this week. We need more pictures of men and women with their motorcycles. Get your picture in. For details, see Motorcycle Pictures of the Week.
Jumat, 11 Februari 2011
BRP Recalls 2011 Roadster Spyder RT SM5 for Shift Problem
BRP is recalling certain model year 2011 Spyder RT SM5 Roadsters.
While downshifting, it may be possible to inadvertently engage reverse without depressing the reverse button, due to a defective reverse actuator cable. If this happens while vehicle is moving forward, the rear wheel could lock and the engine could stall.
The number of units affected is 160.
Check out my Motorcycle Recalls feature for more details.
While downshifting, it may be possible to inadvertently engage reverse without depressing the reverse button, due to a defective reverse actuator cable. If this happens while vehicle is moving forward, the rear wheel could lock and the engine could stall.
The number of units affected is 160.
Check out my Motorcycle Recalls feature for more details.
Non-Refundable - The Path to Insanity
*** continued from previous post ***
I had booked an all-inclusive package. Everything was covered; meals, snacks, ‘high tea’. The only additional charges were for beer, wine, and spirits. The Lodge garnered the highest ratings on various websites, and was written about, quite elegantly, as a 'gem', and a 'hidden treasure', and 'an experience not to be missed'. A place where the food was "indescribable, delicious and a rare gourmet treat not often found outside of Europe". I was sold. I was the target market. There was one caveat however; the place was not, by any stretch of the imagination, cheap. Gripped by the fever of adventure, I had hovered my quivering hands over the mouse and throwing caution to the wind, I clicked the button and committed ourselves to three non-refundable days at this alpine paradise.
You might want to remember the words 'non-refundable'. Those two words lead to insanity. Which brings us back to the outskirts of Carnack.
Now, as you recall if you’ve been paying attention, your mother was not in the best of moods. Who can blame her? It had been a weird, weird day. From the night before in Galway's Bay to the Ferry and Toads and Rain and Cannibals and Beavers and a guy named 'Ted' that I don't have the energy to write about. So, the day is winding down, the sun is slipping away, and it's frickin’ raining buckets. Again. Or Still. Doesn't matter. But at least we are near the Holy Grail – Hidden Valley Lodge.
We rolled through the city limits of Carnack, (motto: Hey! You just drove through Banff at insane speeds! Well done! Enjoy your stay! Bye!"), and Mom, in her ever inquisitive, and I must admit that at this point in the day, somewhat annoying voice, leans forward on the bike and asks, "Thank God. I'm beat. So, where exactly is this place?"
*** the journey continues ***
I had booked an all-inclusive package. Everything was covered; meals, snacks, ‘high tea’. The only additional charges were for beer, wine, and spirits. The Lodge garnered the highest ratings on various websites, and was written about, quite elegantly, as a 'gem', and a 'hidden treasure', and 'an experience not to be missed'. A place where the food was "indescribable, delicious and a rare gourmet treat not often found outside of Europe". I was sold. I was the target market. There was one caveat however; the place was not, by any stretch of the imagination, cheap. Gripped by the fever of adventure, I had hovered my quivering hands over the mouse and throwing caution to the wind, I clicked the button and committed ourselves to three non-refundable days at this alpine paradise.
You might want to remember the words 'non-refundable'. Those two words lead to insanity. Which brings us back to the outskirts of Carnack.
Now, as you recall if you’ve been paying attention, your mother was not in the best of moods. Who can blame her? It had been a weird, weird day. From the night before in Galway's Bay to the Ferry and Toads and Rain and Cannibals and Beavers and a guy named 'Ted' that I don't have the energy to write about. So, the day is winding down, the sun is slipping away, and it's frickin’ raining buckets. Again. Or Still. Doesn't matter. But at least we are near the Holy Grail – Hidden Valley Lodge.
We rolled through the city limits of Carnack, (motto: Hey! You just drove through Banff at insane speeds! Well done! Enjoy your stay! Bye!"), and Mom, in her ever inquisitive, and I must admit that at this point in the day, somewhat annoying voice, leans forward on the bike and asks, "Thank God. I'm beat. So, where exactly is this place?"
*** the journey continues ***
Kamis, 10 Februari 2011
Gettin ready to do some air brushing
For those of you who have checked out my paint blog, I'm sure you've seen these pictures; but for those who have not, this is a tank I painted. This is what a flame job lay out looks like in the masked off stage as it gets ready for some airbrushed color.
Remember the Titan Sidewinder frame I posted a while back? More of that bike to come soon. Hopefully will have another post of some of that work in a couple of weeks.
Remember the Titan Sidewinder frame I posted a while back? More of that bike to come soon. Hopefully will have another post of some of that work in a couple of weeks.
Chapter 6 - Dah Bears
Today we begin Chapter 6, one of my favorite chapters. In fact, I'm working this one up into a reading/performance that I'll be testing in the next few months.
Enjoy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
September 27th, 2008
Dear Amber,
Okay, I’ll let up on the Pirate stuff. Mom says it’s making you feel bad.
Mom, always with the feelings.
On a brighter note, I ran into that boy you liked so much in high school. I gave him your number. Crazy how we met – it just happened that I was crossing the street in front of the half-way house when I noticed him in a fetal position on the sidewalk. I didn’t even know he was out! Stroke of luck there, eh?
Love you,
Daddio
Chapter 6
Dah Bears!
So we weaved and hummed our way through the afternoon gloom down a freeway that alternated between blinding sun and a very thin, partially suspended flash-flood. I don't mind admitting that, perhaps in retrospect, a marathon day through the Canadian Rockies was --- well, let's just say optimistic at best. The words 'foolish', 'stupid', 'ninny-brained', and 'completely off yer flippin' rocker' could also apply, and your mother, in the days to come, would remind me of this fact. Quite frequently. And with emphasis on the 'stupid'.
Yet, low and behold, we survived, and we were finally on the outskirts of Carnack. Hidden Valley Lodge was close enough to taste. In my head I could feel the softness of the bed, the warm inviting clutch of a hot shower. Inside my damp and pungent helmet my nostrils flared in anticipation of the divine aroma of something other than wet Canadians and muddy roads. Yes, we were close, oh so joyfully close, that for a moment I thought we were already at our destination and this was nothing more than a nightmare, a fever dream of insanity and maple leaves.
Before I go on, I should probably tell you a bit about our destination. I had scoured the internet for lodging that was both unique and wonderful. Remember, our plans were to spend three days using Hidden Valley Lodge as our base to explore all the wonders that encapsulate the adventure that is Banff. I wanted this to be an EXPERIENCE. You know? After all, isn't that what life is about? A collection of experiences? I felt it my duty to create a memory so powerful that I would visit it for years to come, and draw pleasure from each detail etched in my mind. You only get so many chances in life for something truly exceptional, and I wasn't about to let this one slip away. So, with that in mind I had spent days looking for 'just the right place to stay'. Luckily, I found Hidden Valley.
I suppose that some people would conclude that my enthusiasm and lack of attention to detail could be perceived as a negative. Your mother is often in that group. I, on the other hand, like to think of myself as a free-spirit, a generalist that lets the details work themselves out. It's only life, you know? And as long as no one is dead or seriously injured, or in prison, then what really is the problem?
Ha Ha! Take that you conventional thinkers! I am an explorer, a Pirate of life sailing on the outer bounds of human experience. You know, as long as that experience involves a comfy bed and a working bathroom. Oh! And lights. . . I like lights. And heat. And something to eat. And maybe a drinky-poo. But other than that I'm zipping along the edge every day, unfettered and free. OH! And TV and a wireless internet connection.
This is rather a long walk to set the tone for the rest of the story, and, as you shall soon see, I offer this not so much as an explanation but rather as a defense.
So . . . where was I? Oh yes . . . Hidden Valey Lodge. This place looked fantastic. A lodge in Carnack, AB, (please note the "in Carnack"), where the wildlife came right up and knocked on your door. Where your balcony hung over a 'wallow' and the deer and elk and moose would make a daily pilgrimage to slurp the salts that lined the banks of the muddy pit below. An enchanted abode where every room had a fantastic view of a gorgeous mountain valley, full of meadows and creeks and butterflies and rainbows and possibly - yes, just possibly - Unicorns and Gnomes. Although they didn't say that in their advertising, it was strongly implied.
*** the journey continues ***
Enjoy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
September 27th, 2008
Dear Amber,
Okay, I’ll let up on the Pirate stuff. Mom says it’s making you feel bad.
Mom, always with the feelings.
On a brighter note, I ran into that boy you liked so much in high school. I gave him your number. Crazy how we met – it just happened that I was crossing the street in front of the half-way house when I noticed him in a fetal position on the sidewalk. I didn’t even know he was out! Stroke of luck there, eh?
Love you,
Daddio
Chapter 6
Dah Bears!
So we weaved and hummed our way through the afternoon gloom down a freeway that alternated between blinding sun and a very thin, partially suspended flash-flood. I don't mind admitting that, perhaps in retrospect, a marathon day through the Canadian Rockies was --- well, let's just say optimistic at best. The words 'foolish', 'stupid', 'ninny-brained', and 'completely off yer flippin' rocker' could also apply, and your mother, in the days to come, would remind me of this fact. Quite frequently. And with emphasis on the 'stupid'.
Yet, low and behold, we survived, and we were finally on the outskirts of Carnack. Hidden Valley Lodge was close enough to taste. In my head I could feel the softness of the bed, the warm inviting clutch of a hot shower. Inside my damp and pungent helmet my nostrils flared in anticipation of the divine aroma of something other than wet Canadians and muddy roads. Yes, we were close, oh so joyfully close, that for a moment I thought we were already at our destination and this was nothing more than a nightmare, a fever dream of insanity and maple leaves.
Before I go on, I should probably tell you a bit about our destination. I had scoured the internet for lodging that was both unique and wonderful. Remember, our plans were to spend three days using Hidden Valley Lodge as our base to explore all the wonders that encapsulate the adventure that is Banff. I wanted this to be an EXPERIENCE. You know? After all, isn't that what life is about? A collection of experiences? I felt it my duty to create a memory so powerful that I would visit it for years to come, and draw pleasure from each detail etched in my mind. You only get so many chances in life for something truly exceptional, and I wasn't about to let this one slip away. So, with that in mind I had spent days looking for 'just the right place to stay'. Luckily, I found Hidden Valley.
I suppose that some people would conclude that my enthusiasm and lack of attention to detail could be perceived as a negative. Your mother is often in that group. I, on the other hand, like to think of myself as a free-spirit, a generalist that lets the details work themselves out. It's only life, you know? And as long as no one is dead or seriously injured, or in prison, then what really is the problem?
Ha Ha! Take that you conventional thinkers! I am an explorer, a Pirate of life sailing on the outer bounds of human experience. You know, as long as that experience involves a comfy bed and a working bathroom. Oh! And lights. . . I like lights. And heat. And something to eat. And maybe a drinky-poo. But other than that I'm zipping along the edge every day, unfettered and free. OH! And TV and a wireless internet connection.
This is rather a long walk to set the tone for the rest of the story, and, as you shall soon see, I offer this not so much as an explanation but rather as a defense.
So . . . where was I? Oh yes . . . Hidden Valey Lodge. This place looked fantastic. A lodge in Carnack, AB, (please note the "in Carnack"), where the wildlife came right up and knocked on your door. Where your balcony hung over a 'wallow' and the deer and elk and moose would make a daily pilgrimage to slurp the salts that lined the banks of the muddy pit below. An enchanted abode where every room had a fantastic view of a gorgeous mountain valley, full of meadows and creeks and butterflies and rainbows and possibly - yes, just possibly - Unicorns and Gnomes. Although they didn't say that in their advertising, it was strongly implied.
*** the journey continues ***
Rabu, 09 Februari 2011
Riding weather comming soon? Nope........I don't think so.
We've had so much snow this year!
Unlike winters passed, we haven't really seen the deer in our back yard.
I think the snow was so deep the deer must have actually been burried in it........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Up until now that is.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I think summer is finally on it's way, because we can now see the deer moving about again.
Yep, Won't be long now!
Coming soon to a neighborhood near me: Riding weather! NOT!
Unlike winters passed, we haven't really seen the deer in our back yard.
I think the snow was so deep the deer must have actually been burried in it........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Up until now that is.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I think summer is finally on it's way, because we can now see the deer moving about again.
Yep, Won't be long now!
Coming soon to a neighborhood near me: Riding weather! NOT!
The Hidden Slavery of Canada
*** continued from previous post ***
I tugged at your Mom's arm, "Are those Circus Midgets?"
She leaned close and whispered "I don't know, and I don't care. I just want a burger and for this day to be over."
We waited our turn in line and I got a good look at the person tending the cash register. Why, these weren't Circus folk at all! These were children!
The boy, in a pre-pubescent octave only audible to dogs and squirrels said, "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?"
Now I'm not kidding when I say this kid is young. What kind of a country uses forced child labor to serve hamburgers? What kind of monstrous society put's its youth into corporate slavery? This is the dark belly of Canada that they don't tell you about. This is the ugly flip-side to all the politeness and beauty and well maintained roads and health care for all.
He took our order and tried to make change. After fumbling at the till for a minute he said, "Um . . . can you help me? We don't learn subtraction until next week."
Your mother began to weep softly. "Just keep the change son, just keep the change," I said.
His face lit up like a carelessly tossed match at the gas station. "Thanks mister! Woo Hoo!" he shouted and held two quarters above his head in triumph. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had given him a $20 for a $12.28 purchase.
Later we would discover that due to the boom in the oil and natural gas industries in Alberta, the minimum wage, service-oriented jobs were impossible to fill. So Canada had lowered the minimum working age to 14. They are seriously discussing lowering it to 12. No joke. Soon, I imagine, your fries will be served by toddlers. Oh, you'll get your order, but you'll have to change their diapers first.
So began our last stretch to the Holy Grail of the day – Hidden Valley Lodge in Carnack Alberta. Here we were to take a 3 day rest, explore the area, and enjoy the ambiance, soak up some nature. It looked like a fabulous place when I booked our reservations, and we were more than ready to get there. But we still had a bit of traveling to do, so we wolfed our burgers and with a heavy sigh once again hit the road.
After traveling for a few miles, Mom leaned forward and tapped me on the shoulder, "When will we get to Carnack?" Which really meant "When will be done with the Godforsaken day?"
I shouted into the wind, "Shouldn't be more than a couple of hours at the most. Maybe quicker if this rain would let up."
Yes, our day was almost done.
Or so we thought.
*** the journey continues ***
I tugged at your Mom's arm, "Are those Circus Midgets?"
She leaned close and whispered "I don't know, and I don't care. I just want a burger and for this day to be over."
We waited our turn in line and I got a good look at the person tending the cash register. Why, these weren't Circus folk at all! These were children!
The boy, in a pre-pubescent octave only audible to dogs and squirrels said, "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?"
Now I'm not kidding when I say this kid is young. What kind of a country uses forced child labor to serve hamburgers? What kind of monstrous society put's its youth into corporate slavery? This is the dark belly of Canada that they don't tell you about. This is the ugly flip-side to all the politeness and beauty and well maintained roads and health care for all.
He took our order and tried to make change. After fumbling at the till for a minute he said, "Um . . . can you help me? We don't learn subtraction until next week."
Your mother began to weep softly. "Just keep the change son, just keep the change," I said.
His face lit up like a carelessly tossed match at the gas station. "Thanks mister! Woo Hoo!" he shouted and held two quarters above his head in triumph. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had given him a $20 for a $12.28 purchase.
Later we would discover that due to the boom in the oil and natural gas industries in Alberta, the minimum wage, service-oriented jobs were impossible to fill. So Canada had lowered the minimum working age to 14. They are seriously discussing lowering it to 12. No joke. Soon, I imagine, your fries will be served by toddlers. Oh, you'll get your order, but you'll have to change their diapers first.
So began our last stretch to the Holy Grail of the day – Hidden Valley Lodge in Carnack Alberta. Here we were to take a 3 day rest, explore the area, and enjoy the ambiance, soak up some nature. It looked like a fabulous place when I booked our reservations, and we were more than ready to get there. But we still had a bit of traveling to do, so we wolfed our burgers and with a heavy sigh once again hit the road.
After traveling for a few miles, Mom leaned forward and tapped me on the shoulder, "When will we get to Carnack?" Which really meant "When will be done with the Godforsaken day?"
I shouted into the wind, "Shouldn't be more than a couple of hours at the most. Maybe quicker if this rain would let up."
Yes, our day was almost done.
Or so we thought.
*** the journey continues ***
Chain gang
I am back to a motorcycle with a chain. I will miss the clean and quiet belt drive of my Buell however the CB1100 does have a centre stand and that makes a world of difference to chain maintenance. It must be a very long time since I owned a motorcycle with a centre stand. Cleaning the rear wheel is a cinch and same for cleaning and lubing the chain. I sourced one of these chain brushes in
Selasa, 08 Februari 2011
Fast-food Circus Midgets. WTF?
*** continued from previous post ***
The afternoon progressed much as it had since we left the ferry. A wet, sodden hell.
There is only one more remarkable thing that happened between the Tourist Center and reaching Carnack, AB.
Some town we went through, (and believe me they all began to run together at this point), had a McDonalds that provided easy access from the highway. It had been a couple of hours since our last stop, and we were both in dire need of warmth, food, and some time off the bike.
Now a McDonalds in Canada is like a McDonalds in the US, only more northerly. Booths are the same, layout of the restaurant is the same, menu (mostly) is the same. That sweet, sweet generic goodness that reinforces the realization that we, as a species, are really not so different from each other pours out of every napkin holder. It is strangely reassuring that we all have the need for a Big Mac and fries every now and then, and if the 'Quarter Pounder with Cheese' is called a 'Half-Liter with Curds', well it's not so far out of your comfort level to be disarming. In fact, it's just safe enough to be charming.
So, what made this stop unique?
We went to the rear of the restaurant to order, and I realized that the staff were all Circus Midgets. No kidding. They could barely see over the formica. I wondered if this was some government program to help the Little People, or if perhaps their Caravan had suffered a breakdown, and they were making some extra cash to get a new distributor for the elephant truck. The thought crossed my mind that I may be, once again, hallucinating, yet strangely everyone else seemed normal size.
*** the journey continues ***
The afternoon progressed much as it had since we left the ferry. A wet, sodden hell.
There is only one more remarkable thing that happened between the Tourist Center and reaching Carnack, AB.
Some town we went through, (and believe me they all began to run together at this point), had a McDonalds that provided easy access from the highway. It had been a couple of hours since our last stop, and we were both in dire need of warmth, food, and some time off the bike.
Now a McDonalds in Canada is like a McDonalds in the US, only more northerly. Booths are the same, layout of the restaurant is the same, menu (mostly) is the same. That sweet, sweet generic goodness that reinforces the realization that we, as a species, are really not so different from each other pours out of every napkin holder. It is strangely reassuring that we all have the need for a Big Mac and fries every now and then, and if the 'Quarter Pounder with Cheese' is called a 'Half-Liter with Curds', well it's not so far out of your comfort level to be disarming. In fact, it's just safe enough to be charming.
So, what made this stop unique?
We went to the rear of the restaurant to order, and I realized that the staff were all Circus Midgets. No kidding. They could barely see over the formica. I wondered if this was some government program to help the Little People, or if perhaps their Caravan had suffered a breakdown, and they were making some extra cash to get a new distributor for the elephant truck. The thought crossed my mind that I may be, once again, hallucinating, yet strangely everyone else seemed normal size.
*** the journey continues ***
Senin, 07 Februari 2011
Ural Sahara, 2009
Ural Sahara, 2009
North America Specifications
Model number IMZ-8.1037
Dimensions (L x W x H) 2580 x 1700 x 1100 mm / 101.6 x 66.9 x 43.3 inches
Seat height 785 mm / 30.9 inches
Road clearance 125 mm / 4.9 inches
Dry weight 335 kg / 739 lbs
Recommended max speed 95 km/h / 62 mph
Engine OHV Air-cooled, four-stroke, flat twin cylinder
Bore & Stroke 78 & 78 mm
Compression ratio 8.6:1
Displacement 749 cc
Rated 40 HP @ 5600 RPM
Carburetion Twin KEIHIN L 22 AA Carburetors
Clutch Dry double disc
Rated Torque @ 4000 RPM 52 Nm / 38 ft-lbs
Alternator (14 Volt) 55 Amps / 770 Watts
Starting Electric and Kick-start
Gearbox 4 forward, 1 reverse, shaft drive
Fuel 91 Octane Unleaded
Tank Capacity 19 liters / 5.0 US gallons
Front Brakes Front - BREMBO disk brake
Rear Brakes Rear and sidecar wheel - IMZ drum brake
Ignition Electronic
Front suspension Leading link forks
Rear suspension Hydraulic spring shock absorbers
Wheels 19", chrome steel spokes and cast aluminum hubs
Dimensions (L x W x H) 2580 x 1700 x 1100 mm / 101.6 x 66.9 x 43.3 inches
Seat height 785 mm / 30.9 inches
Road clearance 125 mm / 4.9 inches
Dry weight 335 kg / 739 lbs
Recommended max speed 95 km/h / 62 mph
Engine OHV Air-cooled, four-stroke, flat twin cylinder
Bore & Stroke 78 & 78 mm
Compression ratio 8.6:1
Displacement 749 cc
Rated 40 HP @ 5600 RPM
Carburetion Twin KEIHIN L 22 AA Carburetors
Clutch Dry double disc
Rated Torque @ 4000 RPM 52 Nm / 38 ft-lbs
Alternator (14 Volt) 55 Amps / 770 Watts
Starting Electric and Kick-start
Gearbox 4 forward, 1 reverse, shaft drive
Fuel 91 Octane Unleaded
Tank Capacity 19 liters / 5.0 US gallons
Front Brakes Front - BREMBO disk brake
Rear Brakes Rear and sidecar wheel - IMZ drum brake
Ignition Electronic
Front suspension Leading link forks
Rear suspension Hydraulic spring shock absorbers
Wheels 19", chrome steel spokes and cast aluminum hubs
Ural Retro Solo, 2009
Ural Retro Solo, 2009
SPECIFICATIONS
Engine
Type Air cooled 2-cylinder 4-stroke Boxer engine
Bore/stroke 78 mm x 78 mm
Capacity 745 cc
Rated output 29 kW at 5,600 rpm
Max. torque 52 Nm at 4,000 rpm
Carburator Twin KEIHIN L22A A
Max. speed Approx.130 km/h
Ignition Electronic
Power transmission
Clutch Dry double disc
Gearbox 4 speed plus 1 reverse
Final drive Bevel gear with drive shaft
Starting Electric plus kickstart
Chassis/Brakes
Frame Double loop steel tube
Front suspension Telescopic fork
Rear suspension Double sided swinging arm with hydraulic spring shock absorbers - 2 x adjustable
Wheels 2 cross-spoked
Rims 2.15 x 18
Tyres Road tyres 3,50 x 18
Brakes front: discbrake
rear: mechanically actuated drumbrakes
Dimensions/Weights
Dry weight 246 kg
Permitted total weight 399 kg
Length/width/height 2,224/840/1,060 mm
Seat height 750 mm
Usable tank volume 19 l, 95 Octan
Fuel consumption 6.5 l/100 km
Engine
Type Air cooled 2-cylinder 4-stroke Boxer engine
Bore/stroke 78 mm x 78 mm
Capacity 745 cc
Rated output 29 kW at 5,600 rpm
Max. torque 52 Nm at 4,000 rpm
Carburator Twin KEIHIN L22A A
Max. speed Approx.130 km/h
Ignition Electronic
Power transmission
Clutch Dry double disc
Gearbox 4 speed plus 1 reverse
Final drive Bevel gear with drive shaft
Starting Electric plus kickstart
Chassis/Brakes
Frame Double loop steel tube
Front suspension Telescopic fork
Rear suspension Double sided swinging arm with hydraulic spring shock absorbers - 2 x adjustable
Wheels 2 cross-spoked
Rims 2.15 x 18
Tyres Road tyres 3,50 x 18
Brakes front: discbrake
rear: mechanically actuated drumbrakes
Dimensions/Weights
Dry weight 246 kg
Permitted total weight 399 kg
Length/width/height 2,224/840/1,060 mm
Seat height 750 mm
Usable tank volume 19 l, 95 Octan
Fuel consumption 6.5 l/100 km
Big-uns
Now mind you, I have been happily married for almost 20 years now, so this is not me talking, but this was just too funny not to pass along.
.
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.
.
When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.
.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened to commit suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
.
When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
.
When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
.
I am older and much wiser now, and I am looking once again for a girl with big tits.
.
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.
.
When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.
.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened to commit suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
.
When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
.
When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
.
I am older and much wiser now, and I am looking once again for a girl with big tits.
A Non-Refundable Deposit Is A Harsh Mistress
*** continued from previous post ***
On reaching the bathroom the pressure of having to pee increased ten-fold because - well because I was near a toilet. See my bladder, in anticipation, was about 6 steps ahead of my body. I tried to explain that I had 57 frickin' layers of clothing on, and that it would take me a few minutes to disrobe, but my bladder was having none of it. So I hurriedly, and I do mean hurriedly, stripped off as many layers as possible while crossing my legs and bouncing up and down in the stall.
I will not go into details, but you can ask any man and he will agree, that one of the greatest pleasures in life is taking a much needed pee. I know it's not the same for women. But for men? If you could bottle that feeling or put it in pill you could make millions.
Success! Having accomplished my mission, I struggled for the next 10 minutes trying to re-layer. I may have once again put the top of my Frogg-Toggs on my legs but I don't know. The euphoria of warmth, and dryness, and an empty bladder all blended into one magical blur and before I knew it I was back out in the great hall looking for your Mom.
I finally found her standing outside like the trooper she is, ready to get back on the bike. I was relieved to see that she hadn't been eaten.
"Where," I asked her, "did all those frickin' people come from?"
"Well, I overheard some of the women talking. Evidently there was a tour bus, or maybe three, that dropped them off here and they were waiting for another one to pick them up."
I wondered, was this a habit of the Canadian Tourism Industry to randomly abandon the elderly at Tourist Centers? You couldn't blame them. Old people can be a real pain in the keester with all the "I'm tired" and "I'm hungry" and "Dear God George isn't breathing!" It just never stops.
"Come on," Mom said, "time to hit the trail."
Against all common sense we saddled up and hit the wet, cold, misty road. Again. We were now so far behind schedule that it wasn't even funny. But the lodge beckoned. A non-refundable deposit is a harsh mistress.
*** the journey continues ***
On reaching the bathroom the pressure of having to pee increased ten-fold because - well because I was near a toilet. See my bladder, in anticipation, was about 6 steps ahead of my body. I tried to explain that I had 57 frickin' layers of clothing on, and that it would take me a few minutes to disrobe, but my bladder was having none of it. So I hurriedly, and I do mean hurriedly, stripped off as many layers as possible while crossing my legs and bouncing up and down in the stall.
I will not go into details, but you can ask any man and he will agree, that one of the greatest pleasures in life is taking a much needed pee. I know it's not the same for women. But for men? If you could bottle that feeling or put it in pill you could make millions.
Success! Having accomplished my mission, I struggled for the next 10 minutes trying to re-layer. I may have once again put the top of my Frogg-Toggs on my legs but I don't know. The euphoria of warmth, and dryness, and an empty bladder all blended into one magical blur and before I knew it I was back out in the great hall looking for your Mom.
I finally found her standing outside like the trooper she is, ready to get back on the bike. I was relieved to see that she hadn't been eaten.
"Where," I asked her, "did all those frickin' people come from?"
"Well, I overheard some of the women talking. Evidently there was a tour bus, or maybe three, that dropped them off here and they were waiting for another one to pick them up."
I wondered, was this a habit of the Canadian Tourism Industry to randomly abandon the elderly at Tourist Centers? You couldn't blame them. Old people can be a real pain in the keester with all the "I'm tired" and "I'm hungry" and "Dear God George isn't breathing!" It just never stops.
"Come on," Mom said, "time to hit the trail."
Against all common sense we saddled up and hit the wet, cold, misty road. Again. We were now so far behind schedule that it wasn't even funny. But the lodge beckoned. A non-refundable deposit is a harsh mistress.
*** the journey continues ***
Sabtu, 05 Februari 2011
Wild Motorcycle Tales
There are four new motorcycle stories this week for your enjoyment. Two involve motorcycle trips through Afghanistan. One takes place in Venezuela. The last has to do with a '57 Triumph and a fire. Got your own motorcycle story? Send it to me. Now, read Wild Motorcycle Tales, especially the first four.
Motorcycle Pictures of the Week - Mike of America
Here are my Pictures of the Week as displayed on the Motorcycle Views Website. This feature has been expanded to include Bikes Only and Trikes Only. These pictures are taken from the Moto Pic Gallery. See Mike of America's 2008 Harley-Davidson FXDC Super Glide under Bikes Only. There are no Trikes Only, Women on Motorcycles, or Men on Motorcycles this week. We need more pictures of men and women with their motorcycles. Get your picture in. For details, see Motorcycle Pictures of the Week.
Polar Bear Grand Tour - Daddy O on 1/30/2011
Check out pictures and videos of the 12th motorcycle run of the Polar Bear Grand Tour season to Daddy O at Brant Beach, NJ on January 30, 2011.
Jumat, 04 Februari 2011
Got Snow?
It's been a white wintery not so wunderland here in Minnesota this year, and I know many other places as well.
Matter of fact, this year in Minnesota, we broke the all time record in the month of December for snow fall, and the snow has not stopped yet. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. It's like the Energizer Bunny on Viagra doing porn.
Being an insurance adjuster, I think I've handled more interior water damage claims caused by ice dams due to the repeated large snow falls this year than any other year before. Correction, I know I have.
Mrs. M. refers to this year as "Snowmageddon".
So for me and all of the other snow bound riders out there who won't be riding any time soon, I am posting this to lighten our spirits.
Below is an aerial photo of the average upstate NY & New England commute for folks these days....
Matter of fact, this year in Minnesota, we broke the all time record in the month of December for snow fall, and the snow has not stopped yet. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. It's like the Energizer Bunny on Viagra doing porn.
Being an insurance adjuster, I think I've handled more interior water damage claims caused by ice dams due to the repeated large snow falls this year than any other year before. Correction, I know I have.
Mrs. M. refers to this year as "Snowmageddon".
So for me and all of the other snow bound riders out there who won't be riding any time soon, I am posting this to lighten our spirits.
Below is an aerial photo of the average upstate NY & New England commute for folks these days....
O.K. after seeing this, I'm convinced it is not so bad here and I am officially done bitchin about the Minnesota snow....(Maybe).
NOW THAT'S A LOT OF SNOW!
Could You Please Direct This Weary Traveler To The Facilities?
*** continued from previous post ***
I stood there dripping, cold, and wet. I eyed them. They eyed me. I heard soft whimpers and hushed whispers from the corners of the room.
From behind the desk a deep and raspy voice says, "There's a fireplace in the corner where you can warm yourself."
The guy standing next to her shakes his head in agreement and points over to the far wall where a group of elderly women are jockeying for position, pushing each other to the front of the group trying, unsuccessfully, to use their friends as a human shield. My head swiveled, scanning the room looking for your mother. Eye contact was made with several of the other tourists. Much like submissive Chimps, they avert my gaze and shield their eyes with their hands making soft "oh-oh aw och" noises. Someone flung a banana, or it may have been monkey poo, I didn't look. The point is your mother is nowhere to be seen. I hope they have not, in Kubrickian glee, clubbed her to death but I'll have to deal with that later. Right now I have more pressing issues as my bladder begins to rupture. Besides, she's pretty scrappy and I believe she still has her shank and her rock.
In the friendliest tone I can muster, under the circumstances, I say, "Thank you. You're all so very kind and I appreciate your hospitality. You certainly have created a warm and inviting environment for a weary traveler on this awful, wet, horrendous day. I believe I will skip the fire for now, but if you could, perchance, direct me to your facilities I would be forever grateful." I smile, showing my teeth in what I hope will be interpreted as a charming gesture but I'm not making any guarantees.
Yes, that would have been grand.
Unfortunately, what came out, rather loudly and in a screeching tone, was "I GOTTA PEE!", and instead of smiling I just kind of drooled a little out of the corner of my mouth.
The room, in unison and as if on cue, much like the flocking behavior of geese, or fish, or Rotarians, pointed me to a tile lined hallway that led off the main room.
I turn my back on these frightened Albertans, against my better judgment, – for we had left the sanity of British Columbia sometime during the day – and head off down the hallway, my cane making squeaky noises on the wet flooring.
*** the journey continues ***
I stood there dripping, cold, and wet. I eyed them. They eyed me. I heard soft whimpers and hushed whispers from the corners of the room.
From behind the desk a deep and raspy voice says, "There's a fireplace in the corner where you can warm yourself."
The guy standing next to her shakes his head in agreement and points over to the far wall where a group of elderly women are jockeying for position, pushing each other to the front of the group trying, unsuccessfully, to use their friends as a human shield. My head swiveled, scanning the room looking for your mother. Eye contact was made with several of the other tourists. Much like submissive Chimps, they avert my gaze and shield their eyes with their hands making soft "oh-oh aw och" noises. Someone flung a banana, or it may have been monkey poo, I didn't look. The point is your mother is nowhere to be seen. I hope they have not, in Kubrickian glee, clubbed her to death but I'll have to deal with that later. Right now I have more pressing issues as my bladder begins to rupture. Besides, she's pretty scrappy and I believe she still has her shank and her rock.
In the friendliest tone I can muster, under the circumstances, I say, "Thank you. You're all so very kind and I appreciate your hospitality. You certainly have created a warm and inviting environment for a weary traveler on this awful, wet, horrendous day. I believe I will skip the fire for now, but if you could, perchance, direct me to your facilities I would be forever grateful." I smile, showing my teeth in what I hope will be interpreted as a charming gesture but I'm not making any guarantees.
Yes, that would have been grand.
Unfortunately, what came out, rather loudly and in a screeching tone, was "I GOTTA PEE!", and instead of smiling I just kind of drooled a little out of the corner of my mouth.
The room, in unison and as if on cue, much like the flocking behavior of geese, or fish, or Rotarians, pointed me to a tile lined hallway that led off the main room.
I turn my back on these frightened Albertans, against my better judgment, – for we had left the sanity of British Columbia sometime during the day – and head off down the hallway, my cane making squeaky noises on the wet flooring.
*** the journey continues ***
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